


Ruined

by Jacepens



Category: American Revolution RPF, Hamilton - Miranda, Turn (TV 2014)
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - 1950s, Alternate Universe - Boarding School, Anal Sex, Angst and Feels, Crossdressing Kink, Dubious Consent, Emotional Manipulation, M/M, Oral Sex, Porn With Plot, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape/Non-con Elements, Smut, Teacher-Student Relationship, Unreliable Narrator, but laf is 18
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:20:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 27
Words: 41,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24015847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jacepens/pseuds/Jacepens
Summary: Lafayette was attending his final year at the co-ed college preparatory boarding school his family sent him to years ago. He made decent grades, couldn't wait to graduate, and sometimes liked to wear skirts. This was never a problem until the night the Headmaster walked in to find him wearing just that. Lafayette then finds himself struggling to navigate through new feelings and a twisted relationship with the man who started it all, Mr Washington.
Relationships: Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette/George Washington
Comments: 28
Kudos: 70





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Not So Easy to be the Teacher's Pet](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8678767) by [Fickle_Obsessions](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fickle_Obsessions/pseuds/Fickle_Obsessions). 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was originally a one-shot that spiraled out of control but I really love where it's going! And I hope you'll love it too!

Lafayette grabbed the small satchel up off the ground, heart pounding in his chest. He had a wide smile on his face as he struggled to quell his excitement when he opened up the bag. Eliza was such a sweetheart for letting him have this. Her old, freshly washed, skirt and underwear.

It was not some strange desire for Eliza that Lafayette had asked for the old clothes but more of his own inclination to wear women's clothing. He always loved studying the latest fashions and admiring the girls outfits at school. They seemed to enjoy his company as he truly had no desire for what was underneath their clothes, just the fine laces or fabrics used to craft them. Lafayette especially always felt he would look _wonderful_ in girls clothes and he had finally plucked up the courage to put on the full ensemble.

Shaky hands undid the buttons on his shirt and pants until they were neatly folded on the floor. He first grabbed the black lace panties to slide them up his legs. He was grateful he and Eliza were roughly of the same size or this would be _quite_ uncomfortable. Next he latched the matching bra behind his back and looked in his full length mirror. Lafayette was definitely right about looking good as he smiled, but his favorite piece wasn’t even on yet! The blue skirt made of a slightly shimmery crêpe fabric. Lafayette’s touch felt hot when he slid the skirt up his legs. It was much shorter than would be allowed on the girls but that was only due to his long legs. To finish off the ensemble, he topped it off with his plain white button down shirt, and tucked it into his skirt. 

Observing himself in the mirror he felt his heart only continue to beat from nervousness and excitement. Lafayette couldn’t quite say if he was a girl but he would certainly wear their clothes everyday if society would allow. Smiling, he played a bit and pulled the fabric of the skirt up his leg, secretly imagining some handsome man doing the same to him. It felt wrong to indulge in the fantasy of a man finding him irresistible like _this,_ but Lafayette liked the idea. No, loved the idea. Oh, but he was getting nervous, perhaps he should just take the clothes off and go to bed.

“Lafayette!” He heard a stern voice from behind as he whipped around to see him, “You’ve got some explaining to do young man.” _Merde._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I have so much of this already written, this will be updated daily until I run out of chapters, but do know they will be much shorter than chapter one. Even when I'm done posting daily, don't worry! I'll still be updating this just not as frequently! You can talk to me on [tumblr](https://jacepens.tumblr.com/)  
> 


	2. Late at Night

George was doing his nightly rounds in the dormitory hallway to check for lights and any other strange things. Bedtime was strictly enforced and anyone caught still up was to be severely punished. Most nights, George encountered no trouble and nothing out of the ordinary. Usually just kids moments away from getting into bed so George just left them. Sometimes he’d find the more studious ones attempting to work by lamplight before being given a warning. Every so often he’d even catch two students having sex by the obvious sounds coming from their room. Overall though, nothing particularly eventful happened and George was soon able to find sleep himself.

When George walked into Lafayette’s room to see what he was doing with his lights on past bedtime he did  _ not  _ expect what he saw. Oh but what a sight it was. He was wearing a girls uniform. The blue crêpe skirt falling well above his knees, white button down tucked into the skirt making him look very feminine. He was smiling wide as he pushed the skirt up his leg, face bright red.

George in shock, heart pounding, quickly closed the door to deal with the matter and not wake the other students. He had seen many things but never witnessed a student cross dressing, not one so pretty at least.

“Lafayette!” He saw the boy jump and clutch his chest, turning away from his wall-length mirror to face him, “you’ve got some explaining to do, young man.” He growled. Lafayette looked like he might faint from fear as he tried to stumble his way through a sentence but nothing comprehensible seemed to come out beyond,

“I’m so sorry!”

“Would you like to tell me what you’re doing wearing a girl’s uniform?” George said, arms crossed, glaring at the frightened boy.

“Well, you see sir, my- it....um.”

“Out with it!” George spat, he had no time for this nervousness.

“I- I thought I looked nice.” He sighed in defeat.

“Disgusting.” George said more to himself. Lafayette thought it a good idea to wear a skirt? He thought he looked  _ nice?  _ Never before had George encountered a situation like this. He wasn’t even sure what kind of discipline would be best for this situation but even so...perhaps Lafayette wasn’t completely false.

He made the uniform look incredibly attractive or perhaps it was just that skirt that revealed too much of his long legs. Even so, this had to be disposed of immediately, nice or not.

“Come here Lafayette.” George said, perhaps more sweetly than before, beckoning with his finger. Lafayette, with his head bowed, slowly walked towards him. “Now take that off.” George commanded.

“Sir?” Lafayette questioned quietly, raising his soft, fearful gaze to meet his.

“You heard me. Take it off.”

“Yes sir.” Lafayette acquiesced, fumbling with the buttons on his shirt. The poor boys’ small hands were trembling so violently he was unable to successfully undo the top button. He did not ask for help, simply became more frantic as he felt George’s glare. Growing tired of this display George made a simple decision. Close enough that he needn’t take more than a step forward, he brushed the boys hands away and began quickly undoing the buttons on his shirt.

Lafayette’s face was bright red and he limply left his hands at his side. George would admit he delighted a bit in undressing the beautiful boy. Although he wasn’t sure if he wished to take that skirt off. It was truly the worst thing on him, but the way it fluttered on his skin made George desire unspeakable things. He had  _ assumed _ the skirt would be the worst of it, but he was taken aback by what he found once he had undone the first few buttons.

Not sure if he could believe his eyes, he quickly finished removing the shirt and flung it to the ground. Lafayette yelped and attempted to shield the black lacy bra covering his chest.

“My, my Lafayette.” George said, more flirtatiously than he meant, but it was too hard to deny that he enjoyed the sight. Lafayette meekly fiddled with the strap with one hand, the other gripping his elbow to shield himself. He was even biting those lovely lips in worry. Truly a sight for sore eyes. Closing in the space between them more, George forced those hands away to tease him a bit.

“Lafayette, where did you get all this?” He asked, dragging his finger under the underband of the bra and across the whole boy's chest. George noticed Lafayette shiver and gasp.

“A...friend.” He mumbled, distracted, eyes following George’s hand as he continued to trace around the outline of the bra. Interesting how it seemed to fit perfectly tight against his chest, likely a female friend without much of a chest herself, but that didn’t hardly matter. What mattered was the other question on George’s mind he was genuinely interested in.

Sliding his free hand up Lafayette’s thigh, up and up until his hands felt a material similar to the bra underneath that skirt. George chuckled lightly and Lafayette stared at him, frightened yet aroused. That much was fairly obvious. Smiling, George pushed a bra strap off one of his shoulders and continued to pretend interest in the girl giving Lafayette these clothes.

“Can I have her name?” He purred in his ear. Another shiver ran down Lafayette’s spine as he stuttered through a sentence.

“She- she was just being nice-“ Lafayette let out a small moan from his mouth as George brushed his hand over his erection, “she shouldn’t get in trouble for my-“ he swallowed, “my mistakes, sir.”

“Is that so?” George hummed before removing his hands from the quivering boy, and sternly commanding him to, “get on the bed.” Lafayette swallowed thickly before seeing himself onto his bed, cheeks and lips red, eyes wide in anticipation.

He laid back on his elbows, modestly keeping his knees together much to George’s disappointment. Distantly, he felt the need to stop, discipline this boy and be on his way. It was wrong to do this. Terrible in fact, but the pretty offer waiting on the bed was simply too much for any man to resist.

Removing his tie and belt, George joined Lafayette on the bed. The bed was small and only allowed George the space to move on top of Lafayette but that was no problem. The bed creaked beneath him and he felt excited to think how loud this bed would be in time. Alerting everyone what was happening, but what could they do? Tell the Headmaster?

George gently pushed Lafayette’s legs open, desiring to get a good look at those panties. Lafayette turned his face to try and hide it in the pillow as George growled out, “Spectacular.” Reaching up, he pushed the skirt all the way up so it wouldn’t disturb his view. Lafayette made a little squeak into the pillow as he closed his eyes. George teased him by slowly pulling the black lacy panties down, desiring to see what was underneath.

Once it was pulled off of his legs, George grabbed the boy’s half-hard cock to begin slowly stroking him. He made another sound and buried his face deeper in the pillow, trying to fight his grip but George used his other hand to pin him to the bed. He soon melted under his touch and was making more small sounds of pleasure that kept George going.

He wanted an infinite number of things at that moment, too many ideas flooding his mind of what he could do. He was so overwhelmed with lust like he hadn’t been in years and all because of this sweet boy. He stopped stroking his cock to reach underneath him to unclasp that bra. Lafayette arched his back without command to help him out and George never felt so in control.

He moved his face and eyes from the pillow to look at him, that beautiful blend of fear and arousal mixed in his striking eyes. George slipped the bra off and tossed it to the ground. Immediately overwhelmed by the sight beneath him, George leaned over to begin kissing at his neck. Kissing and biting and dragging his tongue down his neck to his nipples. Lafayette squeaked and squirmed, but George kept holding him tightly in place.

George dragged his tongue over one nipple then teased him with his fingers. Lafayette moaned and arched up into the touch causing George to chuckle at the display. It occurred to him this was likely the first time Lafayette had ever been touched like this beyond his own hand and it gave him a rush to think about being the boy’s first. Something he would never forget, always fated to remember the way his Headmaster touched him and made him moan. George smirked when Lafayette gasped as he nipped at his other nipple.

Feeling satisfied that the boy was completely riled up now, George sat himself up once more giving Lafayette space. He still continued to stare at him with those piercing eyes and George struggled to discern what was going on in his head. He always thought he had a knack at reading people, he had to have a certain gift for it when students tried to lie to him or start trouble. He wondered again if he should stop. Lafayette didn’t ask for this, in fact he hadn’t said a word since George began touching him. But no, he was just shy. He clearly was enjoying himself when George undressed him and began to touch him. Sure, it might take some extra coaxing but Lafayette would love what George would have to offer.

Lafayette’s chest was rising up and down as George sneaked his hands underneath his thighs to lift his legs onto his shoulders. Lafayette squeaked again and gripped the bed sheets tight. Poor boy now looked terrified. George leaned over to gently kiss his lips. Lafayette didn’t move his lips but George coaxed him into opening his mouth wider so he could slip his tongue inside that sweet mouth.

Kissing him with fervor Lafayette began relaxing and kissing back, making those sweet little sounds once more. He pulled back a little out of breath to see Lafayette looking much more enthusiastic.

“See, sweet thing?” He purred, “I will make you feel so good.” And Lafayette’s face turned bright red as he nodded.

George then shifted his focus to beneath the skirt. He put his fingers into Lafayette’s panting mouth for him to suck. He didn’t seem to realize why he was doing this and George chuckled at the naivety. There was something purely delightful in the way he licked his tongue all around his fingers, acting more needy by the second. When he pulled them from his mouth Lafayette pouted and looked so endearing like that. Until George reached down to put his fingers to use.

Before he had even pushed one inside, Lafayette, realizing what was happening, began to squirm and even tried to push his hand away until George pinned it to the bed.

“Shhhh. I told you it’ll be alright.” He smiled and Lafayette began to tremble when George pushed the finger inside. He squealed and tried to keep his mouth shut, still trying to wiggle away. George tightened his grip on Lafayette with his free hand and watched the fear fill his eyes again. George, determined to make him enjoy himself, began to push the finger in and out, curving it once deeply inside. Lafayette gasped and threw his head back, blushing so much it spread down to his bare chest.

That was it. Yes, there we go. He thought as he pushed a second finger inside to Lafayette’s approval. He moaned and gripped the bed sheets rather than George but that wasn’t his concern. George smirked when he felt Lafayette begin to gently push his hips down onto his fingers, intoxicated by the feeling. George watched with hungry eyes as the blue skirt shifted up and down as Lafayette ground his hips onto George’s fingers.

George made the boy cry out when he started to stretch his two fingers apart, scissoring his hole. He then pushed a third finger inside of him. Lafayette cried out again, and his hips stopped moving. He turned his head to bury his face in the pillow once more, tears threatening to leave his eyes. Poor little boy just couldn’t decide if he wanted it or not, but no matter, it would feel good soon enough.

He kept stretching him out and fucking him on his three fingers until Lafayette’s face untwisted it self and he began moaning once more in pleasure. He saw the little smile tugging at his lips as George thrust his fingers inside with more force than before. Lafayette jerked and threw his head back again, smiling wide.

Perfect. He thought to himself. So perfect and stunning. Now that Lafayette was enjoying himself George decided that he was ready to take him. He slowly removed his fingers from Lafayette to undo the buttons on his pants. Lafayette whined when George pulled his hand away but when he saw what was happening he began to struggle anew.

He squirmed and thrashed but George held him down once he had undone the buttons and pulled his hard cock out.

“Wait- sir!” Lafayette yelped but George cut him off by placing a finger to those lovely lips.

“Hush sweet thing. I told you it’ll feel good. You will love it.” Lafayette shivered and said nothing more, now laying complacently on the bed. Smiling, George loosened his grip on the boy to line himself up with his hole.

After waiting a moment to see Lafayette’s breathing even, he slowly pushed himself inside. Lafayette grabbed the sheets with a death grip, face scrunched up as he let out a high pitched whine.

“Relax.” George purred out, “it’ll make it easier.” Lafayette eased his muscles and George had a much easier time burying himself in the boy. When George was fully pressed inside he felt the boy tense up on him again. George had to coax him with one hand to get him to relax. Telling him it would feel so good, so good.

“Be a good boy for me, hm?” Lafayette meekly nodded his head as George allowed him the time to adjust to the feeling. His grip on the sheets weakened and George suddenly thrust his hips forward. Lafayette cried out as he continued to thrust into him.

Panting heavily, George abandoned all care and fucked the boy how he wanted. Lafayette was squealing and trying to hold back more sounds as he gripped onto the bed sheets tighter and turned his face to bury it in the pillow. He made no move to push George away but he was feeling much more resistance than before. It didn’t hardly matter, if the boy felt pain that was his fault for not doing as he said. He watched lustfully as the blue skirt bounced on his hips, still right where he left it. Yes, it was the worst thing on him but it was the prettiest too.

“It hurts!” Lafayette squeaked out from under him, tear tracks on his cheeks.

“Hush!” George growled, thrusting harder, “if you would do what I say it wouldn’t hurt so bad.” Lafayette cried out again and George felt his hole tighten around him.

Wave after wave of pleasure was all he could feel, never wanting this to end. Lafayette soon quieted down and become more slack underneath him which George took as an invitation to move his leg and fuck him harder. Lafayette was panting and staring at George with that look of begging and it only made George want more. More and more until this pretty boy was screaming his name and  _ begging _ for more _. _

He watched Lafayette throw his head back and moan, grip still tight on the sheets but he looked to be enjoying it now. “That’s it.” He growled, “you take it just like a little slut.” His face was bright red as he continued to moan and make lovely little keening sounds. George then pulled back and slammed himself inside the boy who yelped.

After a few more times he continued his brutal pace and watched the boy melt under him. He felt him grinding his hips onto him, moaning more openly, eyes never losing sight of George. Feeling his own orgasm close, George thought it a good idea to make sure Lafayette finished as well all over the skirt that started this.

He grabbed his cock and began stroking him in time with his thrusts, watching the boy’s face scrunch up as he suddenly came. He bit his lip to keep from crying out and George couldn’t help himself and came in the boy’s used hole. He was breathing heavily as he came down from the intense high, never feeling more satisfied in his life.

He pulled out and smirked when he looked at the mess the boy was. Eyes wet from tears, skirt covered in release, hole red and dripping out his cum. Lafayette’s eyes were half open when George grabbed his discarded tie and belt to quickly throw them on. Giving the boy one last glance, he smiled at him then opened the door and walked out.

Lafayette wanted to scream. He couldn’t hardly move from his spot on the bed, feeling tied down. He ached all over and his head was full of confusing thoughts because he didn’t know what to think. He hated it, he hated it, surely he hated it. But the way Mr Washington smirked and told him to be a good boy? Found him irresistible in a skirt? Pounded him until he came all over himself? Lafayette was reeling, head full of thoughts. With shaky hands he reached down to touch his sore hole, still full of Mr Washington’s cum, and moaned at the feeling. He felt used and worthless but  _ good _ and euphoric. Lafayette smiled, he should feel more sick, and he did, he  _ did.  _ But his body still felt like it was burning when he thought back to the way Mr Washington touched him. He pathetically began to shove his fingers into himself, crying out at the pain. He told himself to stop, but he couldn’t, he  _ couldn’t.  _ Gripping onto his aching cock, Lafayette cried out at the pain as he began stroking himself rapidly. He continued to thrust his fingers inside himself, ignoring the pain and thinking of Mr Washington. How he panted and growled as he fucked him, sweat clinging to his skin as he made Lafayette tremble. Suddenly Lafayette felt himself coming all over again just like Mr Washington made him.

Now the panic began to set in as his lust was finally satiated. He pulled his fingers out of himself and almost threw up at the sight of them. Lafayette hated what Mr Washington had made him, for he loved and hated how good it felt. But it happened again. And again. And again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh-oh.  
> [tumblr!](https://jacepens.tumblr.com/)  
> 


	3. What Now?

Lafayette couldn’t get Mr Washington out of his thoughts. It was all he could think about. He couldn’t pay attention in class or even to his friends. All his thoughts were replaced with how his warm hand felt sliding up his thigh and touching his panties. He wanted to tell someone but he felt more and more ashamed as the days went on when he realized he wanted him again, badly.

Every night he would pathetically touch himself and imagine Mr Washington was watching him, standing at the foot of his bed, arms crossed, watching as Lafayette touched himself like the slut he was.

Lafayette washed the clothes for Eliza, too embarrassed to tell her the truth. She said they were his to keep but she would take them any time to wash them, but Lafayette knew he had no excuse for the skirt. So late one night, he snuck down his hallway to the bathroom to try and wash the skirt free of those stains he left on it.

He pumped the soap on and furiously scrubbed away as best he could, begging no one would come in the bathroom at that moment. His hands were trembling as the stains weren’t coming off and he felt panicked. He didn’t want to be reminded of what happened, he just wanted to wash it away and surely if he washed it away these plaguing feelings would be gone.

“Laf?” Lafayette jumped, his heart pounding loudly in his chest, iron grip on the wet skirt in the sink. “What are you doing?” It was his friend, Alex. “Are you alright? Hey I didn’t mean to scare you so badly.” Alex smiled as he approached. Lafayette instinctively grabbed the skirt from the sink to hide it behind his back. His hands and skirt were still soaking wet and Lafayette knew he was leaving a wet spot on his back.

“Laf, come on. You don’t have to hide that from me.” Alex tried at that smile again but Lafayette was at a loss for words.

“ _Alex, I should go-_ “ Lafayette blurted out in French. He often exclusively talked to Alex in French as he was the only person who could understand and it gave them their own bubble of privacy if someone happened to overhear.

“ _Hey, Laf, is something wrong? This is really unlike you. I guess now is as a good a time as ever, but we’ve all noticed you’re not acting like your usual self. I mean, come on. I don’t know why you’re hiding that, you know I don’t mind.”_ Lafayette shook his head.

 _“Alex, please. I can’t-“_ Lafayette felt his throat tighten up as tears threatened to spill from his eyes. Alex immediately ran over to him and pulled him into a hug, sensing his distress.

 _“Laf if you need to tell me that you’re actually a different gender you know I won’t judge you. I mean, you better still hang out with me, but you’ll always be my friend no matter what.”_ Lafayette shook his head again. He was wrong, Alex was wrong. There was no way he’d want to remain friends with a slut.

 _“No, Alex, it’s not-“_ but there was still that nagging voice that was saying: tell the truth. Tell the truth, Alex is your friend, you can trust him. But no no no no. What would he even say? Because Lafayette wanted it again. It would be a different story if he didn’t because wanting it again, _needing_ it again made everything so much worse.

“ _Laf, now I’m really worried. What’s wrong? Did something happen?”_

 _“No, no. Alex I’m sorry. I’m just tired. That’s all, with school work and exams coming up.”_ He lied, holding his breath and begging that Alex wouldn’t see through him.

“ _Laf, you know I care about you, right? Please, just tell me what’s really bothering you.”_ Damn Alex and his perceptiveness.

 _“I can’t!”_ Lafayette shouted, tears falling freely from his eyes, _“you would never be my friend again!”_

 _“Laf, hey, shhhhh. I’m sorry I pressured you ok?”_ Alex wrapped him up in a tight hug and Lafayette shivered when he shushed him. It reminded him so much of Mr Washington and that night. “ _Listen. I won’t bother you about it again tonight, ok? You don’t have to tell me but if this thing’s really bothering you, you need to tell someone. Please Laf, I mean it.”_ Alex pushed Lafayette back to look at his face and Lafayette meekly nodded. Of course he would say yes, lie just to make Alex feel better.

 _“Ok. I really do mean it Laf, but I’ll leave you alone now.”_ He said after a moment before retreating from him. Lafayette immediately wished to be back in his friend’s kind embrace but as he walked away, he realized something.

He was doomed to go back to Mr Washington and leave his friends behind. Before he began crying again, he furiously scrubbed every last one of his emotions into that damn skirt and was relieved to see that there were no visible stains. He shook it off and dried it with a towel then hurried down the hallway, terrified he would run into Alex. Or worse, _him._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Lafayette.  
> [tumblr!](https://jacepens.tumblr.com/)  
> 


	4. Decisions Made

It had been days since he washed the skirt. He would’ve worn it a bit more only he was too afraid that the moment he slipped it on Mr Washington would be at his door. Lafayette was still unsure on how he felt about everything. He was terrified of what might happen if he put on that skirt for only him to see, but it also gave him that all too familiar rush followed by the feeling that his whole body was burning.

Yes he wanted it again. He wanted it again still so badly even if in reality he was scared. Scared of Mr Washington, of himself for becoming obsessed with nothing but him. New found lust still burned through him everyday like never before and the more time passed the more _desperate_ Lafayette became for more.

He was trembling as he laid down in bed. He left the lights on. On purpose. He had been so possessed with thoughts and the need for it to happen again that he left them on so Mr Washington would investigate. So he would open the door and see Lafayette wearing nothing, shaking and bright red, needy and desperate for him.

Lafayette felt like he must have been waiting for hours and as every second passed he felt more and more scared. What if he hurt him? _Really_ hurt him? Of course, Lafayette could hardly walk for days after that night, but still, he was giving George control. He could do whatever he wanted and Lafayette knew he wouldn’t protest. Perhaps that was truly the scariest part.

This new feeling that had been awakened in him. The feeling of devotion and burning lust, knowing that you are doomed to serve this one man until your dying days. But that was preposterous! Lafayette would get over this soon enough, surely. He would graduate soon and never ever think of Mr Washington again.

He wouldn’t think about being commanded by him or held down by him. Or sweetly shushed and called endearing names. Lafayette let out a little sound. No, he wouldn’t think about those large hands stroking him as he ruthlessly fucked him like the slut he knew he was. Lafayette moaned as he continued touching himself. Then suddenly he heard thudding footsteps outside his room.

Lafayette immediately jerked his hand away, his heart pounding loudly in his chest as he watched the door. The footsteps stopped and Lafayette was sure he was looking right at his door, right at the light pouring out underneath. Lafayette couldn’t breath as he waited and waited. Then, he walked away.

Lafayette struggled to breathe as he regained control of his senses. He walked away? Lafayette wanted to scream. Open the door and chase him down. He was supposed to open the door! Lafayette frustrated, grabbed his boxers and pajamas from his dresser and threw them on with an angry huff.

Maybe it was better this way, he thought. But no! Lafayette had finally gained the courage to do something and he just ignored him! Ignored him! Now he would be in a terrible mood tomorrow and more desperate and horny than ever.

Flipping out the lights and flopping onto his bed Lafayette pulled the sheets over his shoulders. He was too angry to find sleep soon but he found that after a few minutes of lying in bed he could fall asleep easily.

He dreamed of Mr Washington. Of those hands and his cock fucking him anew. He heard the words _“good boy”_ rumble over and over into his ear. Everything felt so good in his dreams.

Lafayette had made up his mind. If Mr Washington wasn’t going to start this again then Lafayette would just have to. He slammed his lunch tray down onto the table, determination filling his mind.

“Woah there, Lafayette. You’re gonna break the tray if you’re not careful.” Alex joked, cracking a smile and breaking Lafayette from his thoughts. He glared at Alex as he and the rest of their friends laughed and chatted like every other day.

Lafayette stabbed at his food, wishing to be with Mr Washington and away from everyone else. He had never noticed, they were so _loud._

“Lafayette!” Caleb smiled, mouth still full of food, “what’s got you so angry today? You look like you’re attacking your food.” Lafayette watched with disgust as he swallowed down his food. You couldn’t have done that earlier? He thought to himself.

“It’s nothing.” Lafayette growled, but Caleb just frowned at him.

“It doesn’t look like nothing.” Ben remarked from his spot across from him. At least he didn’t try to eat and talk.

“Yes. Lafayette, something’s been wrong for a while now. I can tell.” Eliza looked at him with kind eyes but Lafayette just felt attacked.

“I said it’s nothing. Would you all just let me eat in peace?” Alex frowned and looked like he was about to say something until Lafayette shot him another glare hoping to get his point across. He watched Alex deflate in defeat then continue to his food.

Anna, who hadn’t said a word so far looked up from her latest book of study. She gave him that kind of soul-searching stare she was known for. Anna could speak and speak well but sometimes her looks did all the talking for her and she knew it. She said he was being rude.

Lafayette grumbled and looked at his tray, ignoring his friends. When did they become so intrusive? Lafayette finished his food and continued to think on Mr Washington and when he could enact his plan. He smiled into his plate which didn’t go unnoticed by Anna.

He decided that during Saturday would be about the only time he could see Mr Washington uninterrupted. Of course, he didn’t know his schedule but he knew enough to know he’d been working in his office like regular school days. Visitors usually weren’t allowed on Saturday’s but Lafayette was hoping that Mr Washington would let him in.

He grabbed his satchel and stuffed the skirt, panties, and bra inside then stacked multiple books on top. If anyone ran into him he would say he was going to the library. Simple enough, he just had to hope no one would see him go to the Headmaster’s office. It was a well known fact he didn’t like student visitors on Saturdays.

Lafayette knew his plan was riding on a lot of variables but what other choice did he have? If he continued ignoring this feeling he was sure he would simply catch on fire and burn up. He could hardly do his schoolwork as is because everything felt so boring compared to who he could be doing. Lafayette was much more confident than he had been because he had reasoned with himself that this was the only rational way to get rid of his problems. He was also secretly hoping that after one more time, Lafayette would realize it wasn’t all that good and be completely cured of his follies!

His hands were still trembling when he opened the door to walk down the hallway. He breathed and tried to calm himself down.

Just walking to the library. Just walking to the library. He repeated.

“And just where do you think you’re headed, Lafayette?” Lafayette spun around to see the owner of that condescending voice. He was so lost in thought he hadn’t noticed the smug bastard Simcoe.

“The library.” Lafayette stated frankly, crossing his arms.

“Oh really? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you go anywhere without those friends of yours.” He glared.

“They didn’t want to study today.”

“Is that so?” Simcoe stood for a moment longer, likely wondering if he would take this confrontation further or not but he decided against it. “Fine then.” And turned away to leave but of course he just had to threaten Lafayette first before he rid him of his presence.

“But be careful of walking around here alone Lafayette. I’ve heard there’s a terrible rumor going around about you.” Lafayette just rolled his eyes. He had heard that one before.

He walked swiftly down the hallway and began to worry that someone knew. He knew the walls weren’t exactly soundproof and he can’t say it was exactly quiet. But no, surely no one could know about Mr Washington. It was probably just some dumb masturbation rumor started by the kids in the rooms next to him. Lafayette could deal with that.

When Lafayette rounded the next corner he found his heart beating intensely the closer he got to his office. The satchel seemed to weigh so much more and when Lafayette arrived at the door he waited for minutes before pushing it open.

“Hi! What can I do for you?” The secretary, Ms Arnault, said. Lafayette gulped. He had foolishly forgotten about her, she would certainly hear everything. Lafayette almost sprinted out the door behind him but when he saw the last door that led to his office he felt relieved.

“I would like to see Mr Washington please?” Lafayette asked in a very timid manner. His palms were sweaty. This was a bad idea, a very bad idea.

“Well I’m afraid his office hours aren’t open right now. I could schedule you a time on Monday.” She smiled, wide and rehearsed.

“Well it’s important.” Lafayette practically whispered, heart still hammering, “could you please just ask him if I can see him?” Ms Arnault cocked her head for a moment and looked like she was about to say some rude comment but she stood down.

“Very well, I’ll ask him. But don’t be surprised if he says no.” She smiled and this time it felt more real. Lafayette shuddered because he knew he must have looked desperate for her to acquiesce so easily.

She opened and shut the door and Lafayette almost jumped through the door to get to him. She talked for longer than usual and Lafayette could hear their mumbled talking. A new wave of lust ran through him when he heard the deep rumble of Mr Washington’s voice through the walls. God he was so needy.

When Ms Arnault opened the door she just gave him an odd look. She began to gather her things and said, “you can go on in.” And she gave him another smile.

Lafayette nodded and gripped his satchel. If he would run now would be the best time. He knew once he walked in there he was doomed. He could just leave. He could and he should but he knew he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he ran now. So he opened the last door.

“Lafayette. What can I do for you?” The man smiled. Lafayette almost cried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [tumblr!](https://jacepens.tumblr.com/)   
> 


	5. At the Office

He was so overwhelmed with emotions the moment he walked in there and saw his face. He felt terrified like never before. _What was he doing?_ His heart continued to hammer loudly in his chest and those handsome eyes never left him.

He did regret it. He regretted everything like never before but oh, he had forgotten how wonderful his voice sounded. He was frozen as he stood there. He had made it so far but he was now frozen.

“Lafayette? Is everything alright?” Lafayette wanted to shout at him for acting so casual. How could he just sit there and stare at him and talk as if nothing happened between them?

“Lafayette, if you’re going to just stand there I must insist you leave.”

“No!” Lafayette blurted out. He should have just stayed silent but the longer he basked in Mr Washington’s presence the more he was reminded of what was driving him insane.

He raised an eyebrow and gave Lafayette a curious look that made his knees weak.

“Sir I- apologize, for interrupting you,” his mouth was so dry, “but you see I wanted to talk to you about...” he clammed up, unable to say the words. Too terrified that saying them out loud would make it all more real than ever.

“About...?” He asked, lips turning up in a smile. He knew exactly what he was going to say so why was he doing this to him?

“About that night.” He sighed in defeat, “when you...” he gulped, “caught me in the skirt.” Mr Washington chuckled and Lafayette almost fell to his knees.

“Caught indeed.” He said to himself, as if musing over the night like one muses over old memories with friends. “And what exactly would you like to discuss?” _Nothing._ Lafayette almost said, he didn’t want to discuss a damn thing; he just wanted those hands all over him again.

Lafayette hadn’t planned on what to say in this situation. He was hoping George would just understand what he was there for and provide him what he needed. Instead he sat at his desk, looking him up and down, an amused smile on his face as he watched Lafayette sweat with nervousness. Did he like seeing Lafayette so nervous?

“I would like to discuss...well,” God he’d made it so far. Would it truly be so shameful to ask for it? _Yes._ Lafayette almost began to cry again when he muttered out, “the possibility of doing it again.” He was trembling and gripping onto the satchel still heavy on his shoulder.

Mr Washington leered at him and suddenly Lafayette felt like the humiliation was worth it. “Again?” He purred and Lafayette swooned at the change of his tone. He nodded his head, lost in his features. He hummed in response, tapping his pen against the table.

“What do you have in your bag there?” Lafayette, relieved, set the bag down on the floor and began digging through until he found what he wanted.

“I thought that you might like...” Lafayette didn’t finish the sentence as he pulled the skirt out to present it to him. Lafayette shivered when he saw his expression immediately darken. He set the pen down and continued to stare at the skirt.

“Is that the same one?” He asked. His voice sounded deeper and breathier than before. Lafayette nodded. “Why don’t you come here, Lafayette?” He purred. Lafayette was confused. Didn’t he want him in a skirt? Didn’t he only like him because he could pretend he was a girl?

“You don’t want me to put it on, sir?” He asked quietly.

“Is that what I asked you to do?” He threatened and Lafayette felt his fear return in full force.

“No sir.” He mumbled before slowly walking towards him. He stayed seated in his chair but pushed away from the desk. Lafayette stood awkwardly next to him, staring at the floor, unsure of everything.

“Get on your knees.”

“Sir?” Lafayette asked, shocked and scared. Mr Washington glared at him and Lafayette fell to his knees, pushing back tears threatening to fall.

“Come here.” He growled, moving Lafayette to the place between his knees. Lafayette was shaking again. He knew what Mr Washington wanted now, but this was not what Lafayette always imagined. He couldn’t bring himself to look up at him, it all felt far too degrading.

Suddenly rough hands gripped his jaw and yanked his gaze higher to look at Mr Washington. Lafayette began to struggle, trying to shake his head loose from the grip but it only tightened. Lafayette whimpered in pain as he was forced to stare up at the man who ruined him. His gaze was too soft, too tender compared to the way he gripped his jaw.

“I thought you wanted this?” He asked sweetly but Lafayette just shook his head again, desperate to get away.

“Not- not this.” He tried to argue. Lafayette yelped when Mr Washington brought a hand to grip the back of his head and pulled on his hair hard. He yelped again and felt a few tears fall from his eyes.

“If you want me to fuck you again you’re going to do this. Understand?” He growled, any look of softness gone. Lafayette meekly nodded his head and felt the grip on his face loosen. He was certain there would be bruises left on his chin.

He tried to hold the rest of his tears back when Mr Washington began undoing the buttons on his pants. Lafayette couldn’t help but try to struggle again. This wasn’t what he wanted! But God, if this would get him what he needed surely he could just get over himself and do it. It wasn’t so bad compared to what he had done before, surely. But the thought of _tasting_ it made him sick to his stomach. He gulped. He could do it, he could do it. This was what little sluts did anyway, wasn’t it? Besides, he truly had no other choice because he would still be terribly needy if he didn’t get what he wanted. And he didn’t want to see Mr Washington angry.

He tried to shrink away when Mr Washington pulled him forward towards his already hard cock. “Come on, don’t be so scared now.” He crooned, looking sweetly at him. Lafayette didn’t break eye contact as he was too afraid to look down. His eyes were sweet and comforting. Lafayette just continued to look up at him as he slowly took his cock in his mouth.

The hand still in his hair gripped tighter and pushed him forward. Lafayette almost choked and felt a cough welling up in his throat. Just don’t look down, don’t look down. He felt tears fall from his eyes as Mr Washington moved his head for him. Lafayette was grateful that he didn’t have to move himself, he could just stare at his eyes and ignore everything else. “That’s it, just look at me, sweet thing.”

Lafayette moaned at the pet name and Mr Washington’s hand yanked harder at his hair. It really wasn’t all that bad after he got over the initial shock. It was nice to watch the effect and power he had over this man. Watching him close his eyes and sigh as Lafayette began feeling more bold and moving his head for him. The hand in his hair was now loosely petting him and Lafayette adored the gentle touches. Wishing to see him fall further into ecstasy, Lafayette began to lick at his slit.

The man growled and Lafayette smiled to himself. It really wasn’t so bad after all except for the sore throat. He felt oddly powerful in this position. Sure, Mr Washington had control but who now controlled him? Then gently Mr Washington pulled his head back and smirked at him.

“That wasn’t half bad, Lafayette.” Lafayette blushed. Then suddenly Mr Washington grabbed him and pulled him up off the ground and to his lips. Lafayette gasped. He urged his tongue into his mouth and Lafayette humbly seceded the bit of power he once held. Mr Washington’s hand began sneaking down to stroke his hard cock over his clothes and Lafayette sighed.

“Do you want me to take you now, my boy?” Lafayette shivered. _My._ He was his.

“Yes sir.” Mr Washington tutted and frowned.

“I’m afraid that won’t do. I want to hear you beg.” He growled lowly into his ear. Lafayette began to tremble again, fresh tears threatening to fall from his eyes. Why would he do this to him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [tumblr!](https://jacepens.tumblr.com/)   
> 


	6. Without the Skirt

“Come on now, just once.” He pulled Lafayette closer to him so he had to brace himself on the chair to keep from falling in his lap. Lafayette gulped.

“Please sir.” He whispered, holding back tears. Now he had it all didn’t he? He took every last bit of dignity Lafayette foolishly thought he could hold on to. God, he didn’t even know he had any left in him after that night, but now he knew it was snatched away from him. It was his. He was his.

“Good boy.” Mr Washington smiled causing Lafayette to involuntary shiver. Whether he felt fear or excitement in that moment as Mr Washington stood to push him against the desk, he’ll never know. Those feelings were starting to give him the same rush.

His back collided against the desk and Lafayette was trapped there, between Mr Washington and his desk. His hands weaved around his hips as he began to kiss him again. Lafayette sighed into the touch, smiling as he was finally going to get what he needed. His strong hands moved to turn him onto his stomach and Lafayette suppressed a giggle when his cheek collided with the desk.

He didn’t care how uncomfortable it would be here; he knew what he was in for when he decided to do it here and the idea only excited him more. Lafayette sighed again when he began to pull his pants down. He moaned as he began rubbing him; his mind had created so many fantasies he forgot how good the real thing was.

He heard Mr Washington chuckled and pull the fabric of his panties back to let them snap against his ass.

“You had more?” He crooned.

“Yes sir.” The ones he was wearing weren’t as nice as the black ones still in his bag. These were very simple baby blue and a cute little bow in front. Lafayette often wore panties simply to make small wardrobe changes every once in a while, but Mr Washington seemed to love them.

He squeaked when he pulled his cheeks apart and then he almost screamed when he felt his tongue begin lapping over his hole on top of his panties. Lafayette’s face turned bright red as his body desperately tried to receive more. Mr Washington couldn’t seem to run out of ways to embarrass him, but it was so torturously _good._ He moaned and his hips pushed back onto his tongue and Lafayette felt truly shameful but there was nothing left for him to hold on to.

He saw Mr Washington smile as he pulled away, admiring the wet spot he left on the panties. Then he slowly began to pull them down his legs and Lafayette began to tremble. Yes! Yes! Finally! Enough of this torture!

“What an excitable little thing you are.” He leaned down to growl in his ear. Lafayette whimpered when he heard George spit. Oh God. The _pain._ Lafayette cried out when he began pushing his finger inside. Lafayette thrashed and kicked him away on instinct. What about this had he ever liked?

“Shhhhh. Come on, what’d I tell you? Relax and it’ll feel good.” Lafayette was panicking as he felt like he was burning but the weight of Mr Washington’s hands pinning him down, the warm breath against his neck. It was perfect in the worst possible way. He took a deep breath and tried to force himself to relax. It’ll feel good. It’ll feel good.

He squeaked when he felt him hook his finger up. Lafayette trembled and moaned, there was that good feeling. He smiled, feeling much more relaxed as Mr Washington rubbed that spot over and over. The pain felt more distant as he only felt that pleasure shoot through him again and again. He realized with embarrassment that he was drooling on his desk but that hardly mattered when he pushed a second finger inside.

Lafayette squealed again and tried not to push him away. Mr Washington hummed in his ear and Lafayette melted at the sound. He continued to push his fingers in and out, rubbing against that spot on occasion like he knew how wild it drove Lafayette. Before he knew it, he was taking three fingers easily, all pain forgotten and abandoned.

He frowned in discomfort when Mr Washington suddenly removed his fingers. Then he felt that warm weight press against him. He felt his panic rise again, mouth dry as he heard Mr Washington spit again. Lafayette shuddered, just relax. It’ll be so good if he would just relax. This was what he wanted, needed. It would be so good, so perfect.

Lafayette bit down on his hand when Mr Washington grabbed his hips and slowly pushed himself inside. Tears began welling up in his eyes and streaking down his cheeks. He took deep breaths, tried to relax his muscles. As painful as it was he suddenly felt so relieved. That feeling he had been dying for was now his once more. The pain, the pleasure, the _heat._ Everything he remembered only so much better than a simple memory.

Lafayette’s eyes rolled back into his head as Mr Washington began to thrust. It wasn’t hard or pounding, but it was light and gentle. Enough to somehow satisfy him and make him want more. His fingers desperately clawed at the desk, trying to find something to grip as he began thrusting harder. The grip on his hips was so tight it would surely bruise and Lafayette moaned at the thought of touching them in the morning.

He sighed when he felt his cock rub that spot inside of him. He shuddered and moaned loudly, he might have even said, _yes sir_ , but he can’t be sure if it was out loud or not. He felt so conflicted and turned on by the continual cycle of pain and pleasure, but Lafayette didn’t want it any other way.

“Good boy, good boy.” George growled above him. Lafayette whimpered. He felt so far from his body as he was fucked harder and harder. He heard shameful sounds every time Mr Washington thrusted into him. This was all he wanted, all he ever needed. To be a toy for this man. This handsome, powerful man that made him feel brainless like never before. He yelped when suddenly his rough hands wrapped around his hard cock. Lafayette couldn’t feel a single thing beyond the way he stroked him faster and faster with each thrust he was still making into his body.

With a sudden cry, Lafayette lost his breath and practically screamed as he came. His body felt wrecked and sweaty and he could distantly still feel Mr Washington fucking him relentlessly and it made him smile. Then with a low groan he was suddenly gone.

Lafayette’s legs struggled to support him as he raised his tired body off the desk. He noticed a wet spot on Mr Washington’s desk where he drooled and hoped he wouldn’t be upset by it. He wasn’t sure what to do when he felt Mr Washington’s wet cum slide out of him so he quickly pulled his pants up hoping to get to a bathroom soon.

He huffed as he tried to fix his hair. Now this was the worst part. He would have to walk all the way back to his room, surely run into all kinds of people and act like he didn’t just get the brains fucked out of him. From the corner of his eye he saw Mr Washington adjusting his clothes. He looked practically spotless where Lafayette was sure he looked awful and red. He didn’t pay him any attention though and Lafayette took that as his cue to leave. He had interrupted him after all, though he hoped Mr Washington thought it was worth it.

Quickly walking around the desk, he grabbed his satchel and was about to open the door when Mr Washington called out for him.

“Lafayette, come here.” It wasn’t demanding or cruel and Lafayette felt he could let his guard down as he went back to the man. “You still look like a mess.” He smiled, “come here, come closer.” Lafayette didn’t know what to think. He wasn’t so sweet last time.

He walked behind the desk to where he was and waited patiently. Mr Washington loomed over him when he came close and for a moment Lafayette had the intense urge to run. Then he reached out his hand and began running it through his hair.

A chill ran down Lafayette’s spine as Mr Washington continued to stroke and fix his hair until it looked nice and presentable. “There.” He smiled kindly. Something about that smile, about all this sudden _sweetness_ made Lafayette feel sick. “Alright now, it’s time for you to go.” Lafayette breathed a sigh of relief. There was that coldness.

He began to quickly walk to the door and heard Mr Washington call out, “See you soon.” In that tone that made him feel so excited. _See you soon._ Lafayette wore a wide grin the rest of the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [tumblr!](https://jacepens.tumblr.com/)   
> 


	7. A Game of Kickball

Lafayette spent the next few days walking awkwardly and reminiscing on his favorite memories. He covered up the small bruises on his chin with some makeup he bought out of curiosity years ago and hoped no one noticed the darker ones on his hips.

Lafayette finally got what he wanted but there was still that nagging voice that begged for more. That little voice that couldn’t think of anything else except _him._ With every little thing he did he wondered, _would Mr Washington like this? Would he be proud? Does he still want me?_

His friends were still as nosy as ever, noticing the change in his attitude. He still was never as excited to hang out with his friends like he used to be, but he often had this faraway look and Alex joked he was in love with someone. Every time he said it, it made Lafayette sick. He wasn’t in love, not with _him_. The thought was disgusting and truly, truly terrible. It was just sex. He liked having sex with him and he liked seeing him and thinking about him but that wasn’t the same thing as love, right?

Lafayette remembered the night he puked in the toilet when Alex tried to have a serious conversation about it. Lafayette became so overwhelmed that he ran to the nearest bathroom as quick as he could. No. Absolutely not. Absolutely _never_ will he love Mr Washington.

Today they would play kickball. Outside, in the big field in front of the school. It was a warm Spring day and the sun shined bright on frowning faces. No one ever enjoyed kickball day, but Lafayette always enjoyed a chance to kick out the cobwebs. The students had been separated by class and seeing as he was in the oldest class, he was the last to play. He enjoyed watching the other’s play but now it was his class’s turn.

He joined Eliza, Ben, Alex, Anna, and Caleb to stand in line as Mr Arnold sorted them into teams. Lafayette stretched and yawned, letting the light wind cool down his arms and legs. Even in his small gym shorts and shirt he still felt hot and sluggish from the burning sun.

As the game started, Lafayette waited patiently in line to get a chance to kick. Eliza and Anna were playing defense and not letting anything stop them. Lafayette smiled, for a moment he missed his friends and the fun they used to have together then he felt the hairs on the back of his neck rise. He turned around and felt his heart beat fast and his stomach burn hot. He was here, watching him play.

Lafayette tried not to stare and kept his gaze forward, willing himself not to look back. He didn’t have to soon as he walked to stand next to the other teachers supervising. All Lafayette had to do was glance up and there he was. And he was looking right at him. Lafayette tried to control himself, steady his breathing, stop looking at him! But he looked so, _so_ handsome.

He had shed the typical school blazer and vest that he always wore due to the hot weather. His crisp, white shirt clung so nicely to his arms and chest and Lafayette couldn’t believe he had never got to see him shirtless before. Every time Lafayette glanced his way, his eyes were on him and he had to hold himself in place to keep from running to him. From getting on his knees and begging for more, he didn’t care anymore, he suddenly needed him again like never before.

Before he realized it he was at the front of the line. He wiped his sweaty palms on his shorts and hoped no one could see his erection. The ball was tossed his way and Lafayette tried so hard to just focus on the game, _not_ Mr Washington in his sexy button down shirt.

 _Thwack._ He kicked the ball as hard as he could and didn’t stop to watch it as he ran for the first base. He cursed himself for kicking it into the air, someone always caught it when it went in the air. His feet carried him while his eyes betrayed another glance at Mr Washington. He was smiling at him and suddenly Lafayette felt his knees give out as he fell elbows first onto the ground.

His knees and elbows burned as they scraped against the rocks, and his head felt rattled. He tried to quickly push himself up but he struggled to find the strength and collapsed again. People were rushing over to see if he was ok, his friends included. He rubbed tears from his eyes as strong hands picked him up off the ground. He realized with sudden clarity it was Mr Washington who helped him to his feet.

“Lafayette, are you alright? Can you hear me?” His face was so close to his that Lafayette wanted to lean in and kiss him. He nodded his head. “Nothing feels broken does it?” He shook his head. “Come on, let’s go inside and get you cleaned up. You fell pretty hard there.” He began to lead him back towards the school. He saw Simcoe laughing and mocking him with his friends on the field. He then noticed Eliza, Ben, and Anna standing behind him with worried looks on their faces. Lafayette tried his best to flash them a little smile to let them know he was ok, but Anna’s frown didn’t disappear as he went inside the school with Mr Washington.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [tumblr!](https://jacepens.tumblr.com/)   
> 


	8. The Nurse’s Office

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blood tw for this chapter. Not super graphic, but letting you know.

Mr Washington guided him through the doors of the school and into the nurse’s office. Lafayette tried not to look down but when he did he saw an incredible about of blood gushing from his knees. He gulped and tried to focus on the feeling of Mr Washington’s hands and not the feeling of warm blood dripping down his arms and legs.

Mr Washington sat him down on a squeaky cot and closed the door to the office. Lafayette looked around, confused as Mr Washington began rummaging through Nurse Gloucester’s supplies.

“I’m afraid that Marianne got an emergency call from her husband, and had to leave the school for the day.”He turned around alcohol, cotton balls, and bandages in hand. “Don’t worry, I used to be a doctor during the war. This will be no problem.” Lafayette nodded his head. He hadn’t known that about Mr Washington. He wondered how he ended up as a headmaster at a boarding preparatory school.

He came over towards Lafayette and dropped to his knees. Lafayette accidentally let out a little gasp when he did so, but Mr Washington either didn’t notice or didn’t draw attention to it. “This will sting, ok?” He said. Lafayette nodded and gripped the edge of cot when he brought the cotton ball to his knee.

He started gentle, wiping up the blood that had trickled from his wound. Lafayette tried not to gag when he stared at the amount of cotton balls he had to use just to clean the excess blood. “You need to be more careful next time, Lafayette.” He remarked.

“Ok.” Mr Washington shot him a little glare, “yes sir.” Lafayette quickly corrected himself. Then he hissed and shut his eyes when he brought the alcohol-dipped cotton ball to his scraped knee. Lafayette squealed as he continued to silently work and clean up his wounds. His muscles were so tense that he didn’t notice when Mr Washington stopped to rub ointment on his knees then cover it up with sticky bandages.

“There you go.” He smiled lightly and Lafayette tried to not let his mind wander to other places as he stood up off the ground. Lafayette’s face was bright red when he returned with fresh cotton balls and bandages to clean his elbows. He instructed Lafayette to turn around and he realized that Mr Washington could very easily slide his pants down and repeat what they did on his desk.

But he continued to gently clean up the blood and Lafayette hissed at the stinging until it was done. “Could you stand up?” Lafayette did as he was told and his face got even more hot as Mr Washington began to search him for more cuts and scrapes.

He ran his hand up his side when he lifted his arm, and he traced his thumb over his thigh when he inspected his legs. Lafayette was a trembling mess after his “inspection”. He then ran his fingers tenderly over his chin and Lafayette swooned.

“Actually, I think I do see something else.” He mumbled before pushing him down onto the cot. Lafayette’s heart pounded in excitement as he fell onto the uncomfortable nurse’s cot. He wrapped his arms around Mr Washington to pull him closer as he kissed him.

He moaned and tried to grind his hips against Mr Washington’s.

“Yes, yes,” he chuckled, nipping at his ear, “I saw how hard you were out there. I saw how you fell when you looked at me.” Lafayette yelped when he reached his hand into his shorts. “I can’t believe how incredibly lucky I am.”

Lafayette whined as he began to slowly stroke him and kiss his neck. Lafayette’s face and whole body felt so hot as he took his time. Lazily kissing his neck and stroking his cock as if Lafayette wasn’t dying for more. Lafayette stubbornly tried to move his hips to gain more friction from his rough hand but Mr Washington just tutted in his ear. Lafayette whined as he began to stroke him faster, making his head fall back as he lost control of his thoughts.

“Do you want to come, pretty boy?” He teased. 

“Yes, yes sir, please.” Lafayette moaned as he slowed his strokes down.

“Tell me you like it.” He growled deeply in his ear. Lafayette’s blood went cold. Up to this point he had felt so comfortable, but oh- there wasn’t time to think! Mr Washington’s grip on his cock was so tight and unyielding Lafayette felt he could scream.

“I like it.” He rushed out.

“Like what?” He still hadn’t moved his hand.

“I like it when you touch me.” He cried as he began moving his hand.

“What else do you like?”

“I,” he gulped, “I like it when you fuck me til I hurt. I like it when you tease me until I’m shaking, and I like it when you call me your good boy.” He cried out. He didn’t know why all those words tumbled out of his mouth. He didn’t want to say all of that but he knew every single one was true.

He began stroking him like he needed and Lafayette felt so close, just a little more and he would-

“That’s because you are. You are my good little boy.” And Lafayette came with a shout. He was trembling so hard and breathing heavily he didn’t notice when Mr Washington had left.

He came back and wiped the cum off of his uniform with a cloth. Lafayette didn’t look at him, he felt so ashamed. Did he really just get a hand job from Mr Washington in the nurse’s office?  Did he really say all that? When he left again, Lafayette knew it was time for him to go, unless...

“Mr Washington?” He hated how fragile his voice sounded. He turned to look at him. “Do you,” he gulped, heartbeat loud in his chest, “do you need some help?” He smiled.

“As a matter of fact I think I do.” Oh no. What had he done to himself?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m gonna be honest I think this might be my favorite chapter. [tumblr](https://jacepens.tumblr.com/)  
> 


	9. Anna

Lafayette continued his school life with his head between his shoulders and guilt in his heart. His actions had finally caught up to him and he realized how terrible everything he had done was. It hadn’t truly hit him until he was on his knees in Nurse Gloucester’s office sucking the headmaster’s dick and enjoying it. Actually really  _ enjoying  _ it.

He felt truly ashamed at the feelings that had overcome him. He couldn’t believe what all he had done. He couldn’t begin to imagine what his friends or family would think of him if they found out about all the dirty things he had done.

He then received his monthly check and letter from his family back in France. The letter contained the same old thing,  how is school? We are fine over here. Are you still practicing your French? Lafayette rolled his eyes at that last one. Did they really expect him to forget his native language?

When he sat down to write his letter to home, he pulled a blank. Usually he had dozens of things to tell them but now all he could think about was Mr Washington. For just a sliver of a second Lafayette considered writing down what had happened but he realized if he did, his family would surely disown him.

He tried his best to come up with things to say, words to write. He hoped they weren’t too obviously dispassionate unlike usual. He spent a frustratingly long time trying to write something decent down to keep them from worrying.

The next night, Lafayette awoke in the middle of the night to realize with frustration that he really had to pee. He sighed and rolled out of bed, still half asleep. He opened his door and trudged down the hallway, wiping the sleep from his eyes.

After he relived himself and was washing his hands, he jumped when he heard the bathroom door slam.

“Anna!” Lafayette shouted, “what are you doing?”

“We need to talk.” She said calmly. Lafayette dried his hands.

“About what?” She took in a deep breath before continuing.

“I want you to tell me what’s wrong, what happened to you.” 

“Anna, please, it’s too late for this.” Lafayette yawned as he walked past Anna and towards the door.

“Lafayette!” She grabbed his arm and whirled him around to look at her. “Do you have any idea what people are saying about you?”

“Since when have I-“

“They’re saying you’re having an affair with Mr Washington.” Lafayette went into panic mode.

“That’s ridiculous!” Lafayette shouted.

“Is it really so ridiculous, Lafayette? You’ve been acting so aloof, so- so rude to all of us!  Something  has happened.” She hissed.

“Anna, I promise you it’s nothing to worry about.” Lafayette tried to reassure her.

“I saw the way he looked at you when we played kickball.” She accused.

“After I hurt myself? The word you’re looking for is concerned.” 

“No! Before that.” Why was she so relentless? “The moment he walked onto that field he never took his eyes off of you for a second, Lafayette!”

“And so what? What if it was true? What would you have me do?” Lafayette bursted.

“Well I would tell you to stop.” Anna said as if the answer was so easy and obvious.

“What if I didn’t want to stop?”

“Well that would be ridiculous. You would be hurting yourself and your future and your entire life!” She argued.

“What if I didn’t care?” He growled, approaching Anna until her back was almost against the wall. “what  if  I liked the way he touched me. The way he  fucked  me. What if I couldn’t stop thinking about him?”

“That-that would be disgusting.” Anna look scared and confused. She was beginning to understand. “Lafayette, you can’t!” There were tears in her eyes now, she looked so desperate. “What did he do to you? You- you used to be our friend and tell us everything, Lafayette, please, what did he do?”

“Nothing!” He shouted, his chest burning, “he didn’t do a damn thing and you’re not going to tell a damn soul.”

“Lafayette, I can’t just-“ suddenly Lafayette was overwhelmed with anger and seized her by her pajamas and slammed her against the wall. Who the hell did she think she was? Coming in here telling him how to live his life, telling him right from wrong?

“You will not tell  anyone  about this  ever. Do you understand me?” His tone was low and threatening. Anna struggled against his grip and cried. “I said do you understand me?” He shouted, banging her against the wall again. Tears were streaming from her eyes but Lafayette had to be sure she would keep her mouth shut and learn her lesson.

“Yes, yes.” She blubbered through her tears. “I won’t tell, I won’t tell!”

“Good.” Lafayette released his grip on her. She immediately fell to her knees and began crying harder and louder.

Oh God, oh God,  Anna.  Anna! His friend, Anna. He quickly bent down to soothe her, help her back up, do anything to fix the horrible horrible thing he had done. Anna smacked his hand away and glared at him. Lafayette stopped breathing at that look.

“Don’t you touch me. You’ve made your choice. I won’t tell anyone, but they’ll find out about you soon enough.” She picked herself up off of the floor and held her head high as she walked out the bathroom door.

Lafayette ran back to his room and cried so hard he couldn’t breath. Cried so intensely his heart pounded in his chest and his mouth was incredibly dry. What the hell had he just done?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lafayette, no.  
> [tumblr](https://jacepens.tumblr.com/)  
> 


	10. Tea Time

He went back to Mr Washington. Anna was right. It took him some time to realize, but she was right. He had made his choice whether he meant to or not and his choice was Mr Washington.

He went to him on a Saturday again. He quietly asked Ms Arnault if he could see Mr Washington and she looked at him with such sympathy it made him sick. He feared the whole school knew, he begged that they didn’t believe it. But all his thoughts and worries melted away when Mr Washington touched him. When he pulled him down onto his lap and kissed his ears, his neck, his lips. When Lafayette sat on his cock, just like that and whimpered and clung onto his shirt as Mr Washington fucked him and Lafayette desperately rolled his hips down onto him.

The way he treated Lafayette changed too. At first, Lafayette hadn’t noticed but whenever they were done and he held him close and kissed him and kissed him like he was all that mattered, Lafayette knew something was different. Knew his attitude towards him had changed. Lafayette wasn’t sure if he liked it. Those more intimate moments. He never knew how to feel, never knew what to do.

Lafayette pushed himself further and further from his friends and deeper and deeper into Mr Washington’s warm arms. His grades began to slip when Lafayette daydreamed about when he would see him next. He wondered what he would say, wonder what he’d want him to wear. It was all that he cared about. Mr Washington.

But even so, he hesitated to think about what was really happening between them. He was terrified to think of the possibilities. So he didn’t. And then he visited Thomas Jefferson for tea.

“Lafayette!” He cried as he swung the door to his room open to greet him.

“Hey Thomas.” Lafayette grumbled. He didn’t know why he agreed to this but he suspected it was because Thomas was his only friend left. His friends never liked him, but Lafayette always enjoyed his company even if it was a little overbearing at times. He was that non-judgmental, no nonsense friend that everyone needed.

“Come in, come in! You picked the perfect time to do this, I just ordered new tea leaves from France.” Lafayette chuckled. He also never knew anyone to be so in love with France.

He walked into his small dorm and set his satchel on the floor. Thomas’ expensive, porcelain tea set sat on the ground. Lafayette sat on floor, cross-legged as Thomas poured him a cup. Lafayette tried to hold in his laugh but if he let out a little smile Thomas didn’t say anything.

He sat on the ground across from him, with the tea set in between them. Taking a hesitant sip Lafayette enjoyed the floral and fruity flavors.

“Do you like it?”

“Very much.” Lafayette smiled, taking a longer sip. He felt relaxed sitting here like they used to. Everything suddenly felt so normal and Lafayette felt at peace. He was glad he agreed to this silly meeting.

“So what’s your latest gossip, Thomas?” Lafayette smiled, falling right back into old habits. He rolled his eyes.

“You know I don’t keep up with that stuff.”

“But I think you have something to tell me.” He leered. Lafayette froze. “I’ve noticed you hardly hang out with those friends of yours. What happened? Did you get in big fight?” Lafayette took a deep breath and set his teacup on the saucer.

“Something like that I suppose.” Thomas quirked an eyebrow.

“Something like that or something else?”

“It- well it’s a bit complicated.”

“I don’t mind complicated.” He shrugged. Lafayette shook his head and huffed.

“I can’t just tell you, Thomas.”

“Since when have you ever hid anything from me? You know whatever it is, I’ve probably done worse!” He laughed, causing Lafayette to feel more at ease. He  _was_ right. Lafayette always told Thomas everything. The things he couldn’t tell his family or friends, the kinds of things that made Thomas laugh and say, “that’s it?”

“Ok, but if I tell you, you know you can’t tell  _anyone_.”

“As long as you don’t tell anyone my secrets.” He smiled causing Lafayette to chuckle again. He certainly wasn’t going to; he didn’t think the world was ready for some of it.

“Well,” Lafayette went cold again, did he really want another person knowing? But wouldn’t it be nice to just talk about? Thomas won’t care, he’ll maybe even give him some good perspective on the situation. “It’s about Mr Washington.” Thomas didn’t say anything, just sat listening and sipping his imported tea.

“He and I are...” Lafayette sighed, “having sex.” He mumbled so quietly he could barely hear himself, but Thomas heard. He heard him laugh loudly, throwing his head back and straight-up  _cackling_.

“ Really?” Lafayette nodded his head, smiling a tiny amount. He always smiled when other people did.

“Way to go, Lafayette!”

“Thomas!” Lafayette scolded, still smiling.

“I mean it! oh my  _God_ ,  that is incredible. Congratulations.” Lafayette snickered.

“Come on, Thomas. I don’t think it’s that simple.”

“And why’s that?” Lafayette paused. Why wasn’t it that simple? Why couldn’t this  _thing_ be just that? A simple thing that  _didn’t_ impact every aspect of his life?

“It- I can’t stop thinking about him.” He whispered, smile gone. Thomas stopped smiling and laughing as well. He heard him sigh.

“It’s that bad, is it?” Lafayette wasn’t sure what  _that_ was but he nodded anyway. Thomas sighed again and took a long sip of tea.

“So what you’re telling me is, he’s affecting the rest of your life as well?” Lafayette nodded again, uncomfortably shifting on the floor. Thomas frowned, “how did it start?”

“Well, you know me, I like to wear girls’ clothes sometimes and it was my first night wearing the full girls uniform. But I- I stayed up too late,” Lafayette took another sip of the tea. “He came into my room and I thought I was in  so  much trouble, but he- he,” Lafayette was shaking the tea cup on the saucer. He set it down on the tray. “He took off my clothes and told me to get on the bed and I did and then he- well I’m sure you can guess what happened next.” Lafayette fidgeted with his pants and cuffs.

“Lafayette that’s terrible.”

“It- it’s not terrible! I was the one who asked for it again and then it just kept happening.”

“No, Lafayette, what he did that first night was terrible.” Thomas argued, voice getting louder. “Did he even ask for your permission?”

“No! But why does that matter? It’s over now!” Lafayette shouted, unable to stop shaking. Thomas stood down.

“Alright. But what now? Why’d you go back after he hurt you?” Lafayette huffed. He never said Mr Washington hurt him but he supposed he picked up on that.

“I just- God, I couldn’t stop thinking about him. I mean, I still can’t. Every second I’m remembering  _him_ and what does to me.” Lafayette blushed. He should stop talking before he said something too embarrassing. He picked his tea cup up again and hid his red face behind it.

“So, what are you going to do?”

“What do yo mean, what am I going to do?”

“I mean, are you going to keep seeing him? Do you like seeing him? I’ve gotta be honest, I’m a little confused.”

“I like seeing him. I like seeing him a lot. Just, you know, I guess it didn’t start out great. And,” Lafayette paused, “I guess it’s not great now either.”

“I mean, my life has been consumed by him. I can’t explain it but I don’t want to hang out with my friends, I don’t enjoy talking to my family, I don’t do my schoolwork. Everything in my life is slipping.” Lafayette began feeling choked up. “And it’s because of him.” Thomas looked like he was going to speak up but Lafayette found himself continuing before he had the chance.

“And Thomas, I’m starting to get scared. I try to ignore it, but sometimes when he holds me it feels like he’s never going to let go again.” Lafayette stared at the tea leaves in the bottom of the cup.

“What? Are you saying you think he loves you?”

“I don’t know.” Lafayette whispered.

“And what if he does love you?”

“He doesn’t love me!” Lafayette snapped, “he can’t possibly love me. That would be- God that would be awful.” Lafayette almost started crying again.

“But what if he does, Lafayette? What if he doesn’t let go?”

“No! No! I will graduate from here soon enough and then we’ll be over! I’ll- I’ll go to college, get my degree, and forget this ever happened.”

“Lafayette, come on, you’re not listening to me.  _What if he loves you?_ ”

“No!” Lafayette shouted, tears pouring from his eyes, “I- I won’t allow it!”

“Lafayette, Lafayette, calm down.” Thomas came over to sit next to him. He placed his hands on his back and shoulders and gently soothed him. Shushing him and sweetly wiping the tears from his cheeks with his handkerchief.

“Listen, it sounds like to me you don’t want to be in his relationship. At least not in the future. I’m just worried that if he asks you to stay, you’ll agree. I don’t want that for you, I know you don’t want that either.” Lafayette shook his head. He absolutely did not want that. But what if he was stuck here? What if he did ask? Would he really be able to say no? Lafayette set his head on Thomas’ shoulder.

“He really is handsome though.” Lafayette sighed, “and a little sweet too.” Lafayette groaned, “why am I so weak for him?” Thomas shrugged.

“That’s just the way it goes sometimes.” Lafayette sniffed and wiped the last of his tears away. He pulled away from Thomas and sat up.

“Thank you. Thank you so much. You’re the only person I can trust to keep quiet about this.” Lafayette chuckled then suddenly wrapped his arms around his funny little friend. “I promise I’ll say no. I promise I’ll find the strength because, you’re right. I don’t want to stay here with him” He mumbled against his shoulder.

After a few more moments of that warming hug, Lafayette pulled away and gave Thomas the customary French kiss on the cheek that he knew he loved so much. He finished the rest of his tea, thanked Thomas for everything, grabbed his satchel, and walked out the door feeling good for the first time in a long time. That happy feeling that came with confessing and understanding feelings you had kept locked away was nice. 

He opened the door to his room, considering some work for the first time in months. When he opened his door, he was shocked to see Mr Washington sitting on his bed, holding a thin, cardboard box.

“What- what are you doing here?” Lafayette quickly closed the door. Panic rising in his lungs.

“Waiting to give you this.” Mr Washington smiled, holding out the box to him. Lafayette felt a sick sense of dread overcome him.  _ What the hell is happening? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How many Fire Emblem: Three Houses references can I sneak in here before someone notices?  
> [tumblr!](https://jacepens.tumblr.com/)  
> 


	11. For You

“What- what is it?” Lafayette hesitantly asked, still frozen at the door and staring at the man sitting on his bed.

“Why don’t you open it?” He smirked, handing him the box. Lafayette dropped his satchel to the ground to grab the box from his hands. 

His hands were still trembling when he pried the lid open. He pushed the paper wrapping aside and gasped. He quickly set the box on his bed to pull out the nightgown. Lafayette smiled wide, it was beautiful. Red feathers lined the bottom of the sheer, white fabric along with thin red straps across the shoulders and a thin red bow tied around the waist.

“There’s more.” He heard George say, and Lafayette went to inspect the rest of the box’s contents. There were pale stockings and a garter belt that had a fading floral pattern on the front panel. Lafayette’s face went bright red. “Go ahead, put it on.” 

Lafayette now stood in shock. What was this about? He wasn’t sure how he felt about this gift, putting it on for Mr Washington. Usually when he wanted Lafayette to wear something he would ask him to wear his panties or skirt but he had never given him something to wear. The nightgown was gorgeous though.

Taking a deep breath, he began to remove his clothes, not looking at Mr Washington. He was wearing his light green pair of panties that resembled the shape of small shorts. He grabbed the garter belt and fiddled with the fraying ends before pulling it up his legs. He then slipped the pale stockings on his legs and clipped them to the belt.

His heart thudded in his chest when he glanced a look at Mr Washington. A chill ran through him when he saw how intensely he was staring. It almost made him feel self-conscious. He quickly grabbed the gown to throw it over his head. He had to undo the bow in the front and once he had thrown it on Mr Washington whispered, “come here.”

Lafayette complied and tentatively walked over to him. He pulled at the string around his waist to tie it up into a bow at the front. Lafayette burned as he felt his cool hands through the fabric. He wrapped his arms around Lafayette’s waist and then looked up at his face. Lafayette had already melted long ago from his burning touch and gaze. He leered at him before suddenly pulling him down on the bed.

Lafayette yelped when he was pulled on top of the larger man. Mr Washington laid back against his pillows and ran his fingers through Lafayette’s hair. Lafayette sighed and let his head rest against his chest enjoying the sweet touches. “You’re so pretty.” He sighed. Lafayette couldn’t help but notice how melancholic Mr Washington sounded and he distantly wanted to make him feel better but he was afraid that would be verging onto feelings territory.

He pulled Lafayette’s face closer to his and began kissing him all over. Lafayette giggled and shivered when he sucked on his neck. Feeling feverish, Lafayette moved closer to him, desperate for more attention, more kisses. Mr Washington happily complied and began running his hands over the backs of Lafayette’s thighs. Lafayette yelped when he snapped the garter strap against his thigh but he blushed when he started rubbing his ass. 

Lafayette, feeling inexplicably emboldened asked him, “can I take your shirt off?” Mr Washington’s kisses and touches stopped and Lafayette went rigid. Why did he do that?

“Why?” He glared. Lafayette gulped.

“Because you- you always look so handsome in it and I’ve just- I’ve just been dying to know how you look without it.” He looked at him with sweet, begging eyes hoping to get himself out of any trouble he might have gotten into. 

“I...suppose.” Lafayette grinned, excitedly working his fingers down the buttons as quickly as possible. His heart was pounding so loud in his chest he hadn’t even noticed Mr Washington not touching him anymore.

When he had thrown the shirt down to admire the view, he sat back on heels and just  _ looked _ . It wasn’t what he expected, it wasn’t that smooth, tight skin he had expected. Instead it was covered in scars. Lafayette’s blood rushed in his ears as he bent down to gently touch the skin as if it might still hurt. It wasn’t what he was expecting but there was something about the placement of each white and off-color scar that made his heart beat a little faster. He gently ran his hands all over the chest, searing the image into his mind. God he wanted to kiss it, would it be weird if he kissed it?

Ignoring rational thought, he brought his lips down to the skin to kiss and lick the lovely sight. He heard Mr Washington gasp above him and Lafayette smiled. Lafayette could barely feel his heartbeat pounding fast in Mr Washington’s chest as he kissed him. Something about this revelation made Lafayette intensely more attracted to him, made him more human in his eyes.

Unexpectedly, Mr Washington gripped his shoulders tight and shoved him off. Lafayette squealed as he clung on to the bed, almost falling off and likely splitting his head open. Mr Washington’s fists were clenched and his eyes burned with so much rage, he was shaking. Lafayette cowered. _ What had he done wrong? _ “Get your damn hands off of me!” He yelled, throwing himself off the bed.

He stomped around his room, gathering his things and Lafayette stayed cowering on the bed, not making any sudden moves. Before he had time to process, the door to his room was slammed shut and he was gone. 

Feeling relieved, Lafayette relaxed and noticed tears fall from his eyes. He hid under the covers and pulled his knees to his chest, still wearing the clothes Mr Washington got for him.  _ What the hell just happened? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you curious you can find Laf's outfit at the [bottom middle](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/553bfb94e4b0f11dcc26a2ef/1479769526008-LNZQ44EGJIH8JZVEIKOX/ke17ZwdGBToddI8pDm48kJ9o7NUcrmhEo2Do0hCQCRdZw-zPPgdn4jUwVcJE1ZvWhcwhEtWJXoshNdA9f1qD7Xj1nVWs2aaTtWBneO2WM-t1LbbTbLDSMcty_6atyOZd1tgvpGr_14ipoasGbUXEyQ/lingeriebydecade1950s11.jpg) and the garter belt at [b](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/fd/e4/a3/fde4a3f1c490baf39e3069e5bc519625.jpg)  
> [tumblr!](https://jacepens.tumblr.com/)  
> 


	12. Idiot

George’s heart didn’t stop beating for a moment as he raced down the hallway. His head felt like it was splitting, he had to stop. He had to  _stop_. He turned into a small, empty corridor and sunk to the ground.

He gripped his head and tried to steady his breathing. He just had to calm down. He wasn’t in danger, there was nothing here that was going to hurt him. He struggled to take a breath and wrapped his arms around himself, willing himself to just stop this foolishness!

Tears spilled from his eyes as he waited for the pain to pass. Flashes of memories filled his mind, he swear he could hear it getting closer. He turned his head to look down the hallway. There was nothing coming for him. He was safe. Burying his face into his knees he groaned. He stayed like that for minutes. Breathing, crying, panicking.

But soon, his lungs didn’t feel constricted, his tremor subsided, he could see the darkness in front of him. It was done. It was over.

He took a deep breath, relieved. His body still felt charged to fight but he recognized the worst to be gone. Oh God, what had even happened? He hadn’t dealt with anything like that in months. God, he thought he was done with that! 

It was his fault for giving those to Lafayette, for letting him touch him. He was an idiot for thinking that would lift his spirits.  _Why the hell did he give that to Lafayette_? There was nothing to be done now. It happened. He snapped and almost very seriously injured Lafayette.

He just looked so much like him, and with Lafayette touching George like  _that?_ It was a recipe for disaster that George should have seen coming. That poor kid must have been terrified. George had really fucked this one up. He fucked it up the moment he gave Lafayette that box. Actually, he knew everything he had done was wrong. He was an idiot for ever getting involved in this mess, for letting it go so far. And he was especially an idiot for giving that gift to Lafayette. But he simply couldn’t resist it anymore.

That damn kid was going to be the death of him, George chuckled. He should go back home, it was getting late. Grabbing the lamp from his office, George lit the fire and walked outside. The wind whipped violently and George pulled on his coat tighter. Walking down the familiar gravel path, George suspected he didn’t even need the lamp to get home.

That cozy little cottage built just by the school with enough privacy in the woods to make you feel secluded. Trudging up the steps, George jangled the keys and unlocked the door to step inside. He set the lamp down and flicked the switch to turn on the lights.

Light was cast onto the old, fading furniture and trinkets passed down for years by past Headmasters. George had added his own little pieces to make it feel more like home, but the house was already completely furnished when he moved in. That hadn’t been a problem, it wasn’t like George had many things when he arrived.

The window shutters rattled and George jumped at the sound, chest tight. Realizing what it was he huffed and grabbed an apple from the kitchen to eat as he got ready for bed. Stripping down, he tried not to pay attention to the scars, terrified he would break again if he lingered too long. He slipped into his comfier pajamas and settled under the covers of his bed. He was about to grab the book sitting on the bedside table until he thought of Lafayette.

How his eyes glittered when George kissed him. How lovely he looked in the nightgown, God tonight would have been so  _fun_ if he hadn’t freaked out. George hoped Lafayette was ok. The last person to be on the receiving end of his anger didn’t speak to him for weeks. But George didn’t hurt him.

In that moment he had wanted to so bad. His hands and body were screaming at him to just  _hit_ him. Sounding alarm bells and desperate to get rid of the threat. But no, George withheld. He didn’t want to hurt him, never wanted to hurt him. So he got out of there as quick as possible to put distance between himself and the threat.

He knew Lafayette was no threat, he  _knew_ that but the moment his fingers-. No. That was enough of that. He couldn’t dwell on it. He was terrified of dwelling on it, but his sweet Lafayette. He hoped he wouldn’t be scared to come back. He never wanted to deny him what he wanted, always wanted to make him happy, but George had a growing dependency on the boy.

Whether he understood it or not, he needed him. Maybe a little too much. He sighed and took a bite of his apple. He really was an idiot. He could think about what to do tomorrow. For now, he should sleep. God knows the papers had been piling up recently.

Finishing his apple and reading a few pages of his book, he fell to sleep easily. He dreamed of him. He had begun to do that recently. Of his smile, his laugh, his hands, his chest.

George woke up feeling more sick than ever. Today would be a long day.

He grabbed his coat from the hook by the door to swing it on. Opening his door, he was pleasantly surprised by the warmth of the sun on his back as he locked his door. He took a breath and headed to the school. Once there, he would think of how to apologize to Lafayette, make it up to him, somehow.

Unless he didn’t. He could just leave it there. Treat him no differently, act like nothing ever happened to begin with. That would be the smart, sensible thing to do. Let him go. But, he didn’t want to. Lafayette has provided so much relief and joy that he hasn’t felt in a long time. He likes seeing him in the mornings, likes kissing him, likes seeing him smile, and he really like fucking him.

George groaned. He had to let the kid go. During his thinking, his feet steered him to his office. It was still fairly early. No one was awake, no students or Dorothea, just George. George always enjoyed the peaceful mornings to himself and when Lafayette arrived for a visit.

Reaching the door to his office George noticed it wasn’t locked. Nothing odd, he likely forgot to lock it back up after last night. He wouldn’t be surprised. Thinking nothing of it, he opened up the door.

His heart pounded in his chest.  _Lafayette_.  Before his brain could catch up to his body, he flung his things down to embrace the boy and kiss him like a madman. Lafayette’s fingers wrapped around his back as he sighed.  _Oh God_.  He was wearing the exact same thing as last night.

George pushed him down against the desk, kissing him like he had been deprived of his touch for years. As he kissed him, he chanted his name over and over in his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can talk to me on [tumblr](https://jacepens.tumblr.com/)  
> 


	13. Good Morning

Lafayette wanted to lift his spirits. Lafayette wanted to make him happy. He didn’t know why but he couldn’t shake the feeling that something wasn’t right with Mr Washington, even before he snapped.

He had a strange melancholic and faraway look and when Lafayette dwelled on what went wrong, he couldn’t shake the thought it was because of that. Because he was uncharacteristically crestfallen. It wasn’t as if Mr Washington was the most upbeat person, but he felt so much more distant and cold than usual when he touched him that night.

Lafayette told himself it was for purely selfish reasons that he wanted him happy. So he could be fucked good and enjoy his day. But Lafayette knew he could’ve gotten that even if he was upset. Still, it wasn’t like he was being guided by his brain anymore and his heart told him to do something to cheer him up.

Lafayette realized he didn’t know a thing about Mr Washington beyond the obvious. So he stuck with what he knew he’d like. He woke up ridiculously early the next day and changed into his uniform to quietly tiptoe to his office. The sun shined bright and birds happily chirped outside as Lafayette crept into his office.

He couldn’t believe the door had been left unlocked so he wouldn’t be stuck trying to unlock it. He opened his satchel and got to work undressing himself and putting on the outfit Mr Washington gave him last night. He already decided he wouldn’t try to ask for anything ever again. He hoped that would solve his problems.

He had to admit, he was a little scared Mr Washington wouldn’t want to see him. That he would yell and scream for him to leave. But Lafayette reasoned that a cute surprise would lift his spirits. Hopefully.

He decided to go without the panties now, thinking the garter belt and stockings underneath the dress to be cute enough. He perched himself atop Mr Washington’s desk. The wood was very uncomfortable in his very limited clothing and Lafayette had a hard time of trying to look charming.

When the door creaked open, Lafayette held his breath for his response. Mr Washington immediately lunged for him and Lafayette almost lost his grip and fell at the force of the kiss. He sighed and smiled. Well this seemed to be going well.

He ran his hands all over Lafayette and forced his tongue in his mouth. He moaned. Now  _this_ was more like it. Lafayette felt heat curl up in his abdomen as Mr Washington began nipping his neck and shoulders, dragging his tongue along every inch of skin.

“Sir...” he moaned out, he was ashamed of himself for losing his self-control so quickly but who would be able to resist? His hands ran up his thighs and pulled the skirt up along with them. Then suddenly he was on his knees before him. Lafayette’s heart thudded loudly. There was no way he would actually- Lafayette’s thoughts were stopped when Mr Washington began teasing his cock with his tongue.

Lafayette started to shake, overwhelmed. This felt so unlike him, the only word that could come to mind as he licked him on his knees was  _worship_. The fact that he was willing to worship him made Lafayette shake. Aroused and a little fearful, like he always made Lafayette feel.

When he took the head into his mouth Lafayette cried out “sir!” Once more. Suddenly Mr Washington pulled away.

“Call me George.” He said quickly as if it wasn’t meaningful. Then he returned to his previous work. Lafayette threw his head back and felt him interlock their fingers together on the desk. Lafayette didn’t know what to think, Lafayette couldn’t think as he sucked him off.

_George. George. George_.  He wants Lafayette to call him by his first name. But why? “George!” Lafayette squealed uncontrollably. He felt the grip on his hand tighten when he cried out his name, felt him moan with him still in his mouth. Lafayette panted for air, beginning to feel desperately close. He cried out again but then he was gone.

He struggled to catch his breath. He couldn’t focus on anything. He had been so close, why had he done that? Lafayette pouted with frustration as George rose to his feet. He stared dreamily into Lafayette’s eyes and sweetly pushed his hair behind his ear then he held his chin.

“What do you want Lafayette? You’ve been so sweet to me, I want to return the favor.” Lafayette paused. It still didn’t feel like normal, but then again what even was normal? None of this was normal so what harm was there in leaning into what he considered strange territory? That’s where this started and where it’ll end.

Too embarrassed to speak, he moved his legs to wrap them around his waist and pull him closer. Lafayette fell back onto the desk and looked up at him, waiting.

“I still don’t know what you want Lafayette.” He teased, “I need you to use your words.” Lafayette blushed and squirmed. He hated when he had to say it out loud. He hated how shaky and desperate his voice came out as, hated hearing himself act so depraved, but he was left with no choice.

“Please fuck me.” He whispered, too flustered to meet his eyes.

“Of course.”

Lafayette sank into oblivion as George took him and fucked him. He felt like he was melting under all the heat and bliss and incredible feeling every time his cock rubbed against that spot inside of him. He was laying down on the desk, too tired and weak to hold himself up. He squeaked and moaned and George murmured impure words into his ear making him burn even more.

George began to slam into him even harder and Lafayette cried out and held onto his jacket. Tears leaked from his eyes but he hardly noticed as all he could feel was that flooding ecstasy. Lafayette suddenly shouted and came so hard his whole body trembled and he couldn’t breathe or focus.

His mind was blank and numb until large hands were gently pulling him up off the desk. 

“I didn’t know you could do that.” He chuckled darkly in his ear. Lafayette was mortified. He came just from the feeling of getting fucked. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

Lafayette, feeling utterly exhausted, sighed as George wiped him and his outfit clean. He still couldn’t understand why he felt the need to be so sweet to him all of a sudden, caring for him once he was finished with him. But in his exhausted state, Lafayette didn’t much care. It was a welcome kindness. When he was finished and Lafayette found he had more strength, he hopped off the desk and shuffled through his bag to get his uniform out.

He worked quickly to get changed, suspecting George wouldn’t want him to stay much longer. Smoothing down his wrinkled shirt, Lafayette rushed towards the door.

“Lafayette!” He called out. “Here.” He had poured a glass of water and was holding it out for him. Lafayette suspiciously crept towards the outstretched hand to drink from the glass. He chugged it down quickly, nodded his head in thanks and was heading to the door once more. Why wouldn’t he let him leave? He got what he wanted.

“Lafayette, come on.” Lafayette sighed and turned around again, “I don’t know what you’re in such a rush for.” He gently smiled. Lafayette had to admit that smile soothed his flaring temper. “Before you go, I would like to say thank you. Your...companionship is something I’ve come to enjoy. I appreciate this morning surprise. Don’t be afraid to do it again.” He smirked, but Lafayette didn’t see it.

Lafayette didn’t hear or comprehend a single word after “your companionship is something I’ve come to enjoy.” Such a simple admission yet it made Lafayette freeze. Made his blood cold and disgust curl in his gut.  _Something I’ve come to enjoy_. This was more than a simple tryst now. With the admission of liking it, wanting more, and only him. Why had he been so blind before? When had this become something more? He should have seen it, should have known this old man with nothing else would become attached. Wasn’t it supposed to be the other way around?

Holding back tears and holding himself steady he rushed out of there as fast as he could. His guilt weighed so heavy in his satchel as he ran to his room. Now he couldn’t believe all the things he’d done. Not if  _this_ was what it meant to him. He wouldn’t go to classes today; he would say he was sick. He would stay in his room and never come out again. But that wouldn’t be enough! He would have to run away! But where?

Lafayette threw open the door to his room and immediately fell face-first onto his bed. He buried his face in his pillows and sank under his covers. He wept and wept as soon as his door was closed. He was doomed. Utterly doomed and ruined.

He should have never gone back. He should have just resisted and never gone back. Never should have grown a dependency for him. Then he wouldn’t be here at all, wouldn’t be terrified that Mr Washington would never let him go because he _liked_ him. Liked him more than he ever dared to imagine before. Not until those words reached his ears.   
  
Lafayette stayed in bed for the rest of the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [tumblr](https://jacepens.tumblr.com/)   
> 


	14. Visitors

Lafayette didn’t the hear the door to his room open. He was still buried in his bed, swaddled by pillows and blankets. He was terribly startled when he heard.

“Lafayette.” He jumped, and looked to see who it was. It didn’t sound like Mr Washington. It was Mr Arnold, one of his teachers here. “Are you feeling alright? You haven’t been to any of your classes today.” He sat on the edge of his bed and Lafayette pulled his legs to his chest.

“No sir, I’m feeling quite sick.” Lafayette brought the covers up to his face. He wanted to hide. Mr Arnold brought his hand to press to his forehead, and Lafayette flinched away from the touch. Mr Arnold frowned.

“Your forehead is quite warm, but you look like you’ve been crying. Are you sure you’re just sick?” Lafayette quickly nodded his head. He hated how observant teachers could be sometimes. Years of dealing with other students bullshit made them notice every little thing. “Well you know if you’re sick you have to go down to Nurse Gloucester’s office to get a letter. You can’t just skip class.” He frowned again. Lafayette nodded again and tried to look as pitiful as possible.

“I’m sorry sir.” He mumbled. Mr Arnold stood and his gaze softened. 

“You’ve never been much trouble, so I’ll let you go this time, but next time you’re feeling sick you have to go to the Nurse. Alright?” Lafayette nodded again, willing him out of his room. He turned to go and Lafayette sank and relaxed until he turned around again.

“Are you sure you’re just sick?” Lafayette’s heart thudded. He looked so genuine and caring that it hurt. But Lafayette knew where he stood. He knew he couldn’t tell a soul, it would ruin him and his life. He would find a way out on his own. He had to. Lafayette offered him a little reassuring smile to prove he wasn’t sad.

“I promise.” Lafayette nodded. Mr Arnold sighed and walked out of his room. Lafayette didn’t sink until the door clicked shut. He was overwhelmed with tears again, but he didn’t know why. Perhaps he just realized very distantly that he had passed up a chance of freedom, of salvation.

Lafayette curled up under his covers and cried into his pillow. Soundless except for the stuttering, heavy breaths between tears.

An hour or so later he heard a knock on his door before Caleb and Ben were in his room, holding a bag with smuggled food. Lafayette smiled. He hadn’t eaten a thing all day and didn’t want to go down to dinner and risk seeing him. Caleb got comfortable sitting on his bed where Ben looked more awkward but they soon soothed down to their usual antics.

“We brought you some food.” Ben smiled, handing him the bag of food. Lafayette’s stomach growled as he snatched the food away from Ben. Lafayette didn’t pay them any attention as he scarfed down the cold food.

“I’ve brought you some of Liza’s notes.” Caleb handed to him. Lafayette nodded and continued to chew. “Jeez Lafayette. You could’ve eaten earlier you know.” Caleb bantered while Ben sighed and shook his head. Lafayette smiled with his food still in his teeth. It meant a lot to just have Ben and Caleb here with him.

They didn’t bother him once about what was wrong. They chatted and laughed and cheered Lafayette out of his gloom. Soon it felt just like old times. When Lafayette was first thrown in America at this school, Caleb offered Lafayette his friendship and Caleb’s friendship naturally included Ben’s. They were his first friends until he met the others. Caleb snuck Lafayette answers to tests while Ben glared at him, but he never told on them. He never would.

The time passed incredibly fast with them when it had felt slow and crawling all day. Lafayette ached when the sun was down and Ben and Caleb had to leave. Lafayette wanted them to stay, he didn’t want to be alone again. But they had to go, Lafayette knew this. Caleb and Ben smiled and waved as they closed the door.

Lafayette sunk along with his mood. His first thoughts were of Mr Washington and he couldn’t help but begin to cry again. He was so tired of crying, it was what he had done all day. Then he heard a small click as his door was opened up again. Lafayette jumped and scrambled to wipe away his tears. It was Ben. He was frowning and looked so empathetic. It infuriated Lafayette but he tried to calm his temper.

“Lafayette, I- Caleb didn’t want me doing this but I-“ Ben collapsed into his bed, “God Lafayette why won’t you just tell us what’s wrong? I’ve never seen you like this. It breaks my heart to see you so upset.” Ben grabbed Lafayette’s hand. Lafayette looked at his face to see tears wet in his eyes.

“Lafayette,  _please_ \-  I don’t- I don’t know what to  do.”  Lafayette’s heart broke. He felt washed in newfound guilt seeing the upset and desperate look in Ben’s eyes. He hadn’t considered how his actions would affect his friends. He assumed they wouldn’t notice or care but Ben looked the exact opposite of apathetic.

“Ben,” Lafayette took a deep breath, “This is my fault and I need to fix it before it gets more out of hand.” He tried to look calm, tried to look and act like he wasn’t a mess. Like he hadn’t been crying when Ben walked in.

“But Lafayette, we could help.” Ben pleaded.

“No! Ben!” Lafayette hissed, “you can’t help me! No one can help me because no one can know. Why don’t any of you understand this?” He snapped. Ben recoiled.

“Lafayette I-“

“There’s nothing you can do to help! Ok? This is- this is  _my_ fault and it’s not just something you can fix with kindness.” Lafayette snatched his hand away from Ben who looked speechless and confused. That dumb look now infuriated Lafayette. “Just go Ben.” Lafayette mumbled. It was best he left now in case he hurt him like he did Anna. The guilt over that event still hadn’t left Lafayette either. He knew it never would.

Ben got up to leave. “Wait!” Lafayette called out. Ben turned around but didn’t come closer. “I’m sorry for snapping at you Ben. I’m just- I’m so stressed out and it’s clouded my judgment so heavily I feel blind sometimes.” Ben still stared at him, not interrupting. “Could you...apologize to Anna for me?” He asked meekly. Ben sighed, his gaze softened as he nodded his head.

Ben moved to walk out of his room again. “Ben! I mean it, I didn’t mean to upset you.” Lafayette pleaded.

“We just want to help you.” Ben said in the tone with so much emotion that it only hurt Lafayette more. He closed the door and Lafayette knew he was gone for good. Overwhelmed with anger he punched his bed over and over until he felt exhausted.

He fell against the pillows and cursed. Mr Washington might have ruined Lafayette but Lafayette was slowly ruining his own life and friendships all on his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to direct your attention to the unreliable narrator tag and tell you none of this is Lafayette’s fault.  
> [tumblr!](https://jacepens.tumblr.com/)  
> 


	15. Baseball

Lafayette had remained incredibly strong. It had been a week since he went back to Mr Washington. Usually he broke in a day but this time he remained vigilant. Every time he thought of him or dreamed of him, he reminded himself of all the reasons why he couldn’t go back.

There was the way he had treated his friends, the way he hurt Lafayette in the first place, and the terrifying thought that if he went back he would never be able to escape. Lafayette also had a serious talk with Anna one night in her room.

He quietly snuck in and tried his best to gently wake her without scaring her too bad. She didn’t want to listen to him when he tried to talk, but she didn’t scream or raise any alarm. Lafayette sat at the foot of her bed and tried his best to apologize.

“But you still did it.” She hissed at him, arms crossed in defiance. Lafayette stared at the sheets.

“And I really have no excuse for what I did. I  _know_ better or at least I thought I did. I just- I lost sight of everything. I was so consumed by him it was like the most basic principles of reason were turned off. I know I shouldn’t have done that. And Anna I can’t believe what I did, I didn’t know I could do that if I got mad enough!” Lafayette wiped the few tears that fell from his eyes. “Please, I’m trying to get better. I’m staying away from him, but I need your help. I realize that now.”

Anna hadn’t said a word. She still sat defiantly, turning over her words in her mind. Lafayette hung his head in shame. He should’ve known this wouldn’t work. Words couldn’t make up for what he had done. It was so  so  horrible of him. Of course Anna couldn’t forgive him. It was only right.

Anna finally made a sound. Lafayette looked up.

“I’ll help you  _if_ you let me punch you.” She smirked. Lafayette smiled.

“Does it have to be my face though? You’ll have to share some of your makeup if so.”

“No, no.” Anna chuckled, “just a good one right in your stomach.” Lafayette felt inexplicably happy. Anna would forgive him and punch him. It was what he deserved.

Rising from the bed, he held his hands behind his back. It was incredibly hard to resist the instinct to cover himself but he didn’t even have time to think before Anna threw her fist back and socked him so hard in the stomach he immediately collapsed. He was completely winded and gasped for air on the floor.

“ _Mon Dieu Anna. Merde_.”

“You will never  ever  do that to  _anyone_ ever again. Do you understand me?” Anna shouted above him. Lafayette nodded his head.

“ _Merde_.  Yes ma’am.” 

“Good.” Anna offered him her hand and Lafayette pulled himself up onto his feet. Anna suddenly threw her arms around him in a big hug.

“Our Lafayette’s back!” She smiled and Lafayette felt warm like he hadn’t in months.

Students cheered in the stands they worked to set up the day before. The sun beat down unbearably hot that every movement felt bogged down by sweat. But Lafayette along with everyone else didn’t notice as they cheered and shouted. It was the annual baseball game with their neighboring school. Their ”rival school”, but Lafayette actually knew many of the kids across the way and would consider them his friends. They often worked with that other school, the rival thing was just a way to get students more excited for the game.

Lafayette sat in the stands next to Anna, Ben, and Caleb as they all cheered on Alex and Eliza. Lafayette remembered when Eliza first tried to join the baseball team. She worked so hard over it and was constantly frustrated for months, but she was so happy when they allowed her on the team.

Lafayette watched Eliza step up to the plate and Lafayette cheered loudly. The pitcher was her sister, Angelica, but Lafayette knew they were too competitive to let that affect the way they played. A loud crack pierced the air when Eliza whacked the ball with all her might. Lafayette watched her dash and he along with their friends watched her race to first base.

Lafayette bit the inside of his lip until Eliza was safe on Lauren’s first base. She threw him a playful punch in the arm as he grabbed the ball tossed his way. Looking across the way he saw Mr Hewlett in the stands staunchly watching the game.

Someone else who’s name Lafayette had regretfully forgotten stepped up to bat next. Seeing this as his opportunity to buy some popcorn he blurted out,

“I’m going to get some snacks. Do you want anything?” Caleb handed him a few coins.

“Give me all the marshmallow peeps this can get.” Lafayette chuckled.

“Will do.” He climbed over the seats, apologizing profusely until he made it to the snack stand. He stood waiting in line and tried to watch the game from where he was, shielding his eyes from the blinding sun.

Suddenly a large hand clapped down on his shoulder and Lafayette jumped, fear shocked into him. He whirled around, begging the hand to not belong to the man he had been trying to avoid. Oh no. It did.

“Lafayette, are you enjoying the game?” He smiled, hand still on his shoulder. Lafayette tried not to visibly tremble, he could do this. He could do this. But he struggled to break eye contact, so upset he hadn’t seen him in so long.

“Yes sir.” He stuttered out, barely audible over the shouts and cheers.

“Lafayette, if you don’t mind I actually have a few things I wish to discuss with you.” No no no. He couldn’t go with him. But in public like this he couldn’t just say no to the headmaster.

“Now?” He tried, anything to get him away from his alluring touch.

“Yes, now.” He snapped.

“I’m sorry sir.” He meekly said, feeling increasingly hot. He forgot how much he enjoyed him. Oh, this would end terribly. A smile flashed on his face that sent shivers down his spine in the hot sun. Just there for a moment before it was replaced by his usual stoic demeanor.

“Why don’t you follow me?” He guided Lafayette away from the crowd, hand on his lower back. Lafayette didn’t know where they were going as he took him farther and farther from the game. Lafayette’s blood rushed as he thought of how he could get himself out of this situation. But the longer he stayed by his side the more weak his knees felt, the more desperate he was to get back to what they used to do.

He felt increasingly hot as he led him to the woods just behind the school. Lafayette’s heart thudded so loudly in his chest he didn’t hear Mr Washington ask him a question.

“Lafayette? Are you listening to me?” 

“I’m sorry sir, what did you say?”

“I said,” suddenly he began crowding his space, pushing him against a tree. “Why have you been avoiding me?” Mr Washington sniped. Lafayette began trembling even more violently as his face came closer and closer to his. Not being able to stand it any longer, he reached up and closed the distance between them, sealing his fate once and for all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the last chapter I have ready! So no more daily updates. I hope you’ve enjoyed it so far! Don’t worry, I’ll still be updating and hopefully finishing it fairly quickly, just not daily updates.  
> [tumblr!](https://jacepens.tumblr.com/)  
> 


	16. In the Heat of the Summer

Mr Washington shoved him away and Lafayette whined, desperate to be sealed to him once again.

“That doesn’t answer my question boy.” He breathed, hot and sweet against his lips. Lafayette arched his spine, wanting to slip further into him. Mr Washington chuckled and began pressing his palm to his groin. Lafayette gasped and bit his lip, never daring to take his eyes off of the man.

“If it’s become of that nasty rumor, you don’t have to worry about that anymore.” He purred in his ear. Lafayette nodded his head, melting to need as he continued to stroke him over his clothes. “You look so darling when you blush like that.” Mr Washington chuckled and Lafayette felt miserably hot, whining and begging for more.

“Come now, let’s go somewhere more comfortable. I’ve been dying to get my hands on you.” Lafayette nodded as he pulled away leaving the world feeling fuzzy. He laced their fingers together and began leading him down a path through the trees.

He led Lafayette to his home. He’d never seen it before and truthfully didn’t get to look inside for as soon as the door shut behind him, he was being shoved against it. He kissed Mr Washington over and over, that ugly beast called desperation clawing it’s way to the surface. He keened and whined, pressing his thigh to Mr Washington’s groin. He delightfully growled in his ear, low and hot, so  _so_ hot.

Then suddenly his hands pulled him off his feet and held the backs of his thighs. Lafayette gripped tight to his neck and continued to kiss and kiss him until he was falling onto a plush bed. He let out a laugh when he collapsed and Mr Washington was soon invading his space again.

His lips trailed down to his neck as he left sweet kiss after sweet kiss and slowly removed his clothes as he went. His hands trailed down his body and pulled him close. Lafayette panted and sweated underneath the heat of the moment, this man, the damn sun.

He shuddered when the lips kissed down his stomach, leaving marks of affection along the way. It was much more slow and deliberate but Lafayette couldn’t help but savor every moment, every shaky breath he graced against his skin.

“I have missed you so.” He mumbled, still sinking lower, tongue pressed firmly to his most sensitive spots. He trembled and cried out when that tongue sank lower still, ignoring his cock and going lower. Lafayette felt embarrassment surge through him when the man pressed his firm tongue to his hole.

“Sir!” He cried out, unable to control what he said or did. He watched intently at the way his head bobbed and the way there was a devilish grin tugging on his lips as he licked Lafayette over and over. He sighed and squirmed as the attention never stopped for a moment. How could he forget how good he felt?

Pulling away Mr Washington chuckled again. “You’re so sensitive. Is that why you avoided me? So at our next meeting you could melt into a mess of pleasure?” Lafayette trembled, unable to answer or think of an answer as he started pushing his fingers inside him.

Lafayette squealed but Mr Washington never left, staring so intensely at him it made him feel embarrassed. He leaned down to press more kisses to his lips, bite his neck and make Lafayette moan. Lost in the feeling of his lips he didn’t even notice when the fingers were gone until he felt himself being stretched by his cock.

He whimpered and clung to his shirt, closing his eyes. “George.” He gasped out, cursing himself the moment the word tumbled out of his mouth. He moaned so sweet and low into his ear that it sent chills down his neck. He squeaked as he began thrusting and holding him so close. Lafayette could feel every hot breath panted onto his skin, every noise of pleasure. He knew he shouldn’t love it. He knew he shouldn’t be here with him and enjoying himself but he couldn’t help it! He couldn’t say no, how could he willingly ask for this to end? It would be madness!

His thoughts began to dissipate the harder he began to thrust. Lafayette felt feverish and  _shit_ he was right about that whole melting thing. The only words that could bubble up to his mind and tongue were, “George. More. Please.” To which said man happily obliged to. Far too soon he was spilling into his hand with a sob. Everything turned to black and white as he trembled and gasped.

Strong arms wrapped around him and pulled him into a hug. Lafayette was so exhausted he happily accepted the gesture. He laid his head against the man’s chest who now lay in bed next to him. Lafayette’s eyelids were heavy and he was tempted by the idea of sleep. Until suddenly he shot up and out of the warm embrace.

“Lafayette?” Lafayette’s heart pounded in his chest. What had he done? He scrambled to get off the bed, get out of here! Get away from him! Why did he let this happen? “Lafayette!” He grabbed his wrist. Lafayette turned around. The look on George’s face looked painfully genuine and real. He looked concerned and...sad. Dammit. Why did that look break him so? When did he care?

Tears threatened the longer he stared into those expressive and pained eyes. Had they always been so beautiful? Lafayette suddenly wanted to stay, to comfort him, to be happy and warm in his arms. Could he do that?

Hesitantly, he laid back down next to George, every move feeling calculated and slow. Then he rested his head against his chest and let himself be enveloped in his warm embrace. Tears fell from his eyes the longer he stayed, the longer George’s breaths felt natural, the longer Lafayette could hear his heartbeat.

George didn’t notice that Lafayette was crying and Lafayette was grateful for that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Join me on [tumblr!](https://jacepens.tumblr.com/)  
> 


	17. Lies

“Lafayette!” Anna grabbed his arm, “where were you yesterday? You disappeared on us! I was worried sick!”

“Anna!” Lafayette jumped, not expecting this kind of confrontation in the middle of the hallway, in the middle of the day.  


“I...is there somewhere more private we can go?” She nodded her head and began to drag him off.

Lafayette’s heart raced. What would he tell her? Memories of last night flashed through his mind when George forbade Lafayette for telling a soul. For letting that unspoken threat hover through the air around them. Lafayette didn’t mention that two people already knew.

Anna snuck him into her room and quickly shut the door behind her.

“Alright. Spill it.”

“There’s not much to say.” Lafayette chuckled awkwardly, “I was just really tired and overwhelmed and it was so  _hot_ that I just wanted to go.” Anna glared at him.

“And it doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that Mr Washington wanted to see you?” Lafayette’s heart dropped. Did she have eyes everywhere?

Taking a deep breath and putting on his serious face he lied.

“Anna, nothing happened. I promise you. I promised I wouldn’t go back and I didn’t. He tried to confront me but I told him off. I told him no.” He tried to make his voice reflect his emotions. Anna smiled in relief.

“Lafayette you’re incredible!” She laughed and tackled him onto the bed in a big hug. Lafayette chuckled. Anna wasn’t usually so affectionate. But the severity of the fact that his lie worked, hurt in more ways than one.

Lafayette had betrayed Anna once more, but yet there was relief. Relief that she could be shielded from his mistakes. Shielded from Mr Washington. Lafayette could continue the lie. He had no choice. He wouldn’t have to for much longer. Graduation was soon and he would be saying goodbye to everyone to go back to France to get his college education.

He could keep up his lie until then. He wouldn’t lose sight of himself and be mean to his friends, he could do that, easily. And if Anna believed his relationship with Mr Washington was over, then she would be protected from whatever consequences might come from this. Lafayette was sure he was doing the right thing. Never more sure.

But Lafayette couldn’t shake the sick feeling that the lie worked. So easily too. Anna had always been perceptive, always been able to pick up what others missed. Maybe she just wanted to believe his lie so badly that she just  _did_.

Lafayette clung tight to her. It was good if she believed him. She would be safe. But then there was the matter of convincing Thomas who probably didn’t care less about who Lafayette fucked and therefore wouldn’t be so ready to believe his lie.

For a moment he considered just letting him go. But selfish fear clouded his mind and he knew he had to find some way to convince Thomas. And Lafayette couldn’t pretend he hated him as much as his friends did.

Saying goodbye to Anna, he finished up the rest of his classes that day and paid a visit to Thomas. His mouth was dry as he knocked on the door, remembering all the reasons he had to do this. The door flung open and Lafayette tried his best to smile.

“Lafayette! What can I do for you?”

“Could I come in?”

“Sure thing!” He stepped aside to allow Lafayette inside. Papers were scattered all around the room so Lafayette decided to sit on the bed.

“Sorry everything’s a mess.” He shrugged, not looking apologetic.

“It’s alright.” Lafayette replied, voice weak and frail. Dammit, there was no way Thomas would believe him unless he found some way to gain more confidence.

“Is everything alright, Laf?” He asked, noticing how weak he seemed. Lafayette shook the fear from his head.

“I just wanted to clear something up with you, that’s all.” He smiled.

“Yeah? And what’s that?” He said, plopping down next to him before laying on his back to stare at the ceiling.

“I just thought you’d want to know my relationship with Mr Washington is officially over.” He grinned.

“Officially over? What makes you say that?”

Lafayette shrugged, trying to put on his best apathetic air. 

“I just got tired of him, you know? It’s just not as fun as it used to be. He tried to confront me at the game,” he snorted with a roll of his eyes for extra effect, “but I said I’m not interested.”

“Just like that?” He said, gaze still fixed on the ceiling.

“Just like that.” He confirmed with another little smile. Thomas turned his head and gave him a look that seemed to see right through his poorly crafted farce. Thomas sighed.

“I’m not gonna tell anyone. Why don’t you just trust me alright? You don’t have to go through all this.” He huffed.

“But-“

“Lafayette, no one knows I know. I’m not telling anyone, alright? Don’t worry about it.” Lafayette deflated. So that didn’t work.

“But Thomas if Mr Washington finds out that you know-“

“He’s not going to. I know you’re worried but you don’t have to worry about me. If anything it’s that Simcoe you need to look out for.”

“Simcoe?” Lafayette’s heart pounded. What did he do?

“You didn’t know? He’s the one who started that whole rumor about you and Mr Washington. Wouldn’t shut up about it for the longest time too, but then one day he just stopped. So who knows?” He shrugged, “maybe he gave up.”

Lafayette knew what happened. He remembered when Mr Washington assured him the rumor had been stopped. He must have said something to Simcoe. Lafayette groaned and fell back on the bed next to Thomas. They were a little closer than Lafayette was comfortable with but he would survive.

“What?” He questioned.

“Nothing. This is exhausting.” Thomas chuckled next to him.

“I can’t even imagine.” Lafayette rolled his eyes and sat up.

“I should probably just go. But seriously Thomas, no one can know you know, ok?”

“I know. Now go on. I’ve got homework to do.” Thomas waved him off and Lafayette smiled. It was comforting to see Thomas as apathetic as always instead of caring.

Lafayette opened the door to his room and headed down the hallway. He thought he would spend some time in the library and maybe do some light reading. Maybe a simple fantasy story. If he could find one. Then suddenly he was falling first face onto the wood floor and scraping his face and knees.  
  
Through the ringing in his ears he heard a horrendous laugh that cut the air around him. _Simcoe_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact about me: I once fell face first onto pavement the day before I had to be in a show. It’s really not fun. They also photoshopped all the pictures of me because my face looked horrible, which was really funny to see.  
> [tumblr!](https://jacepens.tumblr.com/)  
> 


	18. Simcoe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another light blood tw for this chapter

“ _Merde_ ” Lafayette hissed as he pulled himself off the ground. Distantly his nose and forehead hurt like hell but placing curious fingers brought no pain. In a panic he started to wonder if he broke his nose until he realized if it was broken it would hurt.

The fall at the field was nothing compared to this one. This time he had been so blindsided he couldn’t protect his head. It was pounding and there was blood all over the ground. He was scared to see his face. He continued to hear Simcoe’s laugh but he just wanted someone to help him instead of staring at him.

He heard Simcoe say something as he suddenly kicked him back on his side. Lafayette cried out when his head hit the floor again.  _What the hell was his problem?_ Then he heard shouting.

Pushing his hair out of his eyes he saw Alex yelling at Simcoe. He watched them shove each other until Alex almost threw the first punch before a strong voice cut through all the commotion.

“What is going on here?” Rage still in his eyes Alex shouted,

“I was just about to teach this punk a lesson!” He slung his arm back but before anything worse could happen Mr Washington pushed the raging boys apart.

“Alexander! Simcoe! I asked you what is going on here?” Still on the floor, Lafayette was terrified and he hadn’t done anything wrong. Mr Washington was terrifying when he was mad. He couldn’t imagine how they could be feeling.

“ _Simcoe_ thought it would be funny to give my friend a fucking broken nose  _and_ to call him a dirty slut!” Alex spat, the only thing standing between him and Simcoe being Mr Washington. Lafayette froze, he said what?

Simcoe had this smug look on his face as he crossed his arms. “Our dear friend just has clumsy feet. I didn’t do this.”

“Oh like hell you didn’t, everyone saw you kick him!” Alex yelled, struggling to get away from Mr Washington so he could hit Simcoe.

“Language, Alexander!” Alex shrunk, but his hand still seemed to twitch with the need to punch Simcoe as he shot him a deadly glare.

Lafayette watched this scene in wonderment until there were hands pulling him up. Looking up Lafayette saw it was Mr Arnold.

“Come on, he’ll deal with those two. You need to get to the Nurse immediately.” Lafayette nodded andwalked away from the scene on shaky legs, grateful for the helping hand.

His nose was so red and bloody, but his continual pokes of curiosity on it brought no pain.

“Kid, if you touch it, it’s going to hurt.”

“But I can’t feel it!” 

“Trust me, you will.” Lafayette brought his hand down and continued to be led to the Nurse’s office, his vision still so blurry and his head pounding so hard against his skull. He heard distant shouting still and hoped Alex would be ok although he would surely get in trouble for standing up for him.

Lafayette sighed as Mr Arnold opened the door to Mrs Gloucester’s office. This really was exhausting.

“Oh dear.” Mrs Gloucester said in her unusually timid voice after Mr Arnold left. “Don’t worry I’ll fix you right up.” She smiled.

She pulled her hair up in a bun and cleaned the excess blood off of his face, arms, and knees. When she told him to sit down on the cot Lafayette felt his face flush in embarrassment as memories flooded his mind.

She put a strange paste on his worst wounds on his nose and wrapped up the nose in gauze. “Now you’ll probably get some pretty bad bruises under your eyes.” She remarked as she inspected the rest of his face. “And you’re going to have to gargle this saltwater solution to clean out your mouth.” She handed him a small cup of cloudy water.

Lafayette nodded and did as she said, trying to ignore the horrible taste and pain from his mouth where his teeth made a lovely indent. “Good. Now I have a few painkillers for you and this.” She handed him a few pills and a pouch full of ice. “You’re going to want to keep this on your forehead at all times tonight to reduce the swelling and pain. I’ll bring you more ice later tonight for when this melts.” She smiled kindly. “Is there anything else you need from me?”

Lafayette shook his head, ready to go to bed. This day just seemed to stretch infinitely and Simcoe’s words never left his mind. He was a fool for thinking he could fix everything. He had failed miserably and this was the consequence.

Mrs Gloucester helped Lafayette back to his room and he immediately collapsed on the bed. He stared at the ceiling and placed the ice bag on his forehead. God everything hurt so bad. Mrs Gloucester said goodbye after another promise for more ice and Lafayette smiled. She was a nice person in the midst of his chaotic life.

As he lay he gradually began wishing George was with him. He’d wrap him up in a hug, soothe him to sleep, and place sweet kisses along his jaw. What sort of cruel torture was this? Lafayette huffed. Wishing for him to be here? Wanting to be with him? But there was no denying it.

After God knows how long Lafayette felt himself finally drift to sleep until a knock on the door roused him. It was just Mrs Gloucester he reassured himself, laying back down. But the hand that gently pried the warm bag from his fingers wasn’t Mrs Gloucester’s. His eyes flung open to find Mr Washington, a concerned look on his face.

Lafayette tried to relax once more as he shushed him and placed the new bag of ice on his aching forehead.

“What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to check up on you.” He smiled and Lafayette’s heart fluttered. He shouldn’t want him here but something about his presence was so nice.

He leaned down to place a kiss to his lips and Lafayette tensed up, waiting for him to demand more. But then he pulled away and looked at him with such reverence and sadness. He placed a gentle kiss to his forehead, brushing his hair aside.

“I’m sorry Lafayette.” He whispered. Lafayette couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Sorry? For what? How far did that apology go?

His traitorous hands clung to him, begging him to stay. But George simply shook his head, small smile still on his face, removed himself from Lafayette’s bed, opened the door. And he was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will never stop laughing over Simcoe the school bully.  
> [tumblr!](https://jacepens.tumblr.com/)  
> 


	19. Broken Pieces

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m just gonna say it. Get ready for some _emotions_

Lafayette was told to stay in bed all day the next morning by Mrs Gloucester. She came in that morning to give him more ice and painkillers.

“Thank you.” Lafayette smiled.

“You’re very welcome.” She had smiled before heading out.

Lafayette lay back on his bed, staring at the ceiling. With nothing else to do he began to think, and what else was there to think of besides Mr Washington? Everything about that man truly confused Lafayette. At first, he thought he would just be used for sex which he didn’t consider so bad. But Lafayette still couldn’t help but remember that first night.

He had been so scared and felt so sick and depraved afterwards. It was like Mr Washington had taken everything that made Lafayette pure and made it his own. Actually, that was exactly what happened as he recounted his steps down. At first he felt shame, fear in going back to him, but he slowly worked to tear that last bit of shame from him. And apparently his humanity along with it.

But something changed one day. One day, he began to treat him with kindness, affection. At first it made Lafayette terrified but now as he lay in bed all alone, head throbbing, he wanted that tenderness. It was a sick realization that he could ever want more from the man who hurt him so, but he wanted nothing more.

Lafayette curled up in his blankets and sunk down as low as he could. He shouldn’t want these things, he shouldn’t have ever wanted anything from Mr Washington but despite all sense and reason he did. It hurt him, in a way he didn’t know. To want and hate himself for wanting, but again, the loneliness and pain got to him. Broke him down.

Drifting off to sleep Lafayette began to dream of him but they were unlike the dreams he usually had about him. He could feel his hands but they weren’t demanding, they were soft. They pulled him close and Lafayette felt enveloped in warmth and happiness.

He awoke in a groggy mind and chuckled because he knew deep down that dream was nothing more than that, a dream. George never made him feel like that. He only wished he could. Wished it so badly his heart ached and he felt overwhelmed by sadness. And loneliness.

Until a knock on the door. Lafayette quickly perked up, would it be him? But no, it was Mrs Gloucester with more ice and food. In all his contemplating Lafayette hadn’t even noticed he was starving.

After scarfing down the food, Mrs Gloucester removed the gauze still stuck on his nose. She told him not to pick at the scabs and let it heal naturally. She reassured him that he would likely look perfectly clean for graduation. Lafayette smiled. Graduation. The end of his troubles. After a quick goodbye Mrs Gloucester was gone and Lafayette was alone once more.

Hours passed and Lafayette tried to soothe himself by reading but it only made his headache worse. Another knock on the door. Lafayette ignored it and continued to stare into nowhere, it was likely Mrs Gloucester once more.

“Hello Lafayette.” That wasn’t Mrs Gloucester. His eyes snapped to see Mr Washington there. Standing in front of his doorway, still holding himself much more differently than he usually did. That couldn’t be because of him, could it?

“I brought you some food and ice from Nurse Gloucester. She has her hands full with an accident in gym class so I offered to help. I also wanted to see how you’re doing.” He smiled, handing him the food and giving him more ice. “She also said you won’t need ice tomorrow, in fact you can go back to school tomorrow if you’re feeling well enough.” Lafayette nodded and ate his food. What was he supposed to say? For all his dreams of Mr Washington being tender, in person it was so much more unnerving because it was so unlike him and Lafayette knew it would be gone. It was only a matter of time.

He brought a hand to Lafayette’s forehead and began gently brushing his hair. Lafayette sighed and closed his eyes, delighted by the touch. Well, perhaps it wasn’t so unnerving. He pressed a kiss to his forehead and Lafayette opened his eyes.

George’s face was so close to his and Lafayette could see every detail in his eyes. They were shimmering and on the verge of tears. How on earth did this happen so suddenly?

“Lafayette,” he sighed, barely above a whisper, “I should explain myself better. When I apologized the other day, I meant it.” What was he saying? He wrapped his hand around the back of Lafayette’s head and let his fingers get tangled in his curls but he didn’t pull.

“I’m sorry. So so sorry for what I did to you. It was wrong of me and I was so selfish. I still continue to be so selfish. Lafayette, I’m sorry.” Lafayette was frozen as he watched tears stream from his eyes. Lafayette had never seen George cry before. And it looked so real, so genuine Lafayette almost felt moved to tears himself.

For a moment he almost blurted out, it’s ok!, to make him feel better. He knew it would be a lie. He stayed where he was and watched as each tear slid down his cheek and dropped from his chin onto his lap.

“What am I to you?” Lafayette whispered, hardly believing he had said what he had especially with him looking so vulnerable. He didn’t know if there would be a better opportunity and he had to know before he drove himself mad. He didn’t even know what answer he wanted to hear.

“You- you’re-“ he stammered. The tears stopped and Lafayette frowned. Of course he wouldn’t know. “You’re precious to me, Lafayette.”  _Oh_.

Lafayette’s heart thumped loudly in his chest. Precious to him? More than just an object to be used? How? Why? When? “I don’t- I don’t understand.” He said, shock written all over his face. “I can’t- I don’t believe you. It’s- that’s not true!” He shouted, pushing George away. “Why didn’t you ever treat me like that?” The tears were now falling freely from his eyes. Oh God why did he say that? He’s ruined everything now, he’ll never come back!

“Lafayette...” he began, placing his fingers beneath his chin until Lafayette smacked it away.

“At first I hated your tenderness but now I- now I just want you to stay and be kind to me. Why is that so much to ask for?” He cried, choking sobs slipping from him. God when did he lose all his control? He felt so conflicted, like such a mess for wanting and hating the man so badly.

“Lafayette, please!” He tried again reaching out to wrap him in a hug.

“I didn’t ask you to touch me!” He yelled, pushing him away again. “I never wanted it then and I don’t want it now!” He shouted again, crying so violently he was shaking. Full of rage and anguish. He brought his knees to his chest to cry into them.

“I don’t understand, just tell me what you want!” But Lafayette never responded. He couldn’t get a word out as he wept and wept. It had all come rushing out.

All his emotions, all his frustrations, all his longings. He couldn’t answer George because he didn’t know. He was upset at him for so many things. In fact everything, but when he felt him try one last time to bring him into a hug, Lafayette ceded.

He laid his head against his chest and continued to sob. It was so comforting, for once he felt safe with him whether he should have or not.

“Will you stay?” Lafayette asked quietly, head still pressed to his chest and listening to his steady heartbeat.

“Lafayette I have work that needs to get done.”

“You never had a problem with it when I came into your office.” Lafayette shot back. George sighed.

“Alright. Is there anything you want from me?”

“I don’t want to talk, I don’t want to do anything else. I just want to cuddle.” He murmured. He felt George chuckle lightly before gently laying him down. He pulled Lafayette close and held him. Just held him and made him feel safe, warm.

Lafayette was ashamed that he enjoyed this. The sweetness, the intimacy. A horrible thought made its way into his mind that said, I can work with this. I can hold on to this. In fact, I almost want to hold on to this. Forever? Lafayette didn’t know how to react to this revelation, but like it or not he would still hold on to his little obsession. Like it or not he would still miss him when he left.

Lafayette didn’t want to pretend what he felt was love. He  _knew_ this wasn’t love. But his traitorous little heart clung on to every piece of intimacy,  _real_ intimacy and whispered love in his mind. He could be loved like he always wanted. You know you’ll miss him so much, isn’t that close enough? No. He couldn’t allow those thoughts to take root. For now, he would enjoy the warmth that George brought him. Unfamiliar and as strange as it was, it was soothing.

After at least an hour passed, George mumbled in his ear.

“I need to go, Lafayette.” Lafayette nodded and untangled himself from the man. Before he left he pressed a final chaste kiss to his lips and said, “I hope you feel better soon.” Then he walked out the door leaving Lafayette to pick up his broken pieces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I post updates on my [tumblr!](https://jacepens.tumblr.com/)  
> 


	20. Finished

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the hiatus! I needed a break from this fic for multiple reasons (and an excuse to write a new fic during my break from this one!) but now I am feeling refreshed and excited to move forward with this! I appreciate your patience and hope you enjoy the new chapter! (sorry it's not super substantial) Thank you!! :)

Lafayette returned to school the next day. He knew his face looked awful and everyone seemed to point and laugh at him, but Lafayette didn’t notice. He didn’t care. He was miserable.

“Lafayette!” Alex laughed, wrapping him up in a big hug. “It’s so good to see you! How do you feel?”

“You look like shit.” Caleb piped up from behind Alex. This comment earned him a punch in the arm from Ben.

“I’m feeling much better.” Lafayette smiled. “And yeah, I look like shit.” He laughed, “I hope you didn’t get in too much trouble for me.” He worried, his attention back on Alex.

“Not nearly as much trouble as Simcoe” Alex smiled wide, poking him with his elbow. He then swung his arm around Lafayette’s shoulder. “I’m glad to hear you’re better because Eisner is making you take a doozy of a test today.”

“What? Why didn’t anyone tell me?” Lafayette panicked, breaking away from Alex.

“We didn’t want to bother you.” Eliza sighed from next to him, “Nurse Gloucester said we shouldn’t.” Lafayette groaned.

“He didn’t really expect me to read with the worst headache of my life, did he?” He grumbled, heading towards the dreaded class. He began to think through all the ways he could get out of it, so lost in thought that he bumped into someone.

“Oh! I’m sorry!” Pulled out of his concentration he saw it was Mr Arnold. “Sir.” He threw in before he got scolded.

“Lafayette, are you sure you’re feeling better?” He asked, stopping in the hallway to talk to him. His friends scattered away from him, they were always wary of Mr Arnold.

“I’m fine, sir really. I’m just a little preoccupied because, well it’s nothing.” He realized mid-sentence he likely shouldn’t complain about a teacher in front of  _ another _ teacher.

“What is it?” He asked, concern in his voice.

“It’s just a test, sir. A test I wasn’t made aware of.” He chewed on his lip.

“Well that’s ridiculous. Everyone saw what happened to you. You can’t be expected to do anything like that today. Who is the teacher?” Lafayette felt his cheeks go hot with embarrassment when he was reminded that everyone saw what happened, and heard what Simcoe called him.

“Ah- Mr Eisner, sir.” Lafayette squeaked.

“Very good. I’ll go speak to him at once.” He said, clapping down his shoulder causing Lafayette to flinch in surprise. He flashed him a close-mouthed smile before heading to Mr Eisner’s class. Lafayette smiled in relief. Thank God.

“Well ain’t you a lucky bastard.”

“ _ Merde! _ Caleb you cannot sneak up on me like that.” He laughed, hardly remembering what had him so miserable in the first place.

It only took a few more hours before he did. He saw him in the hallway. It wasn’t so uncommon but it was the worst reminder Lafayette needed. Everything he had said, everything he had done. When did he become so clingy and just when did he want to be with someone? And  _ why _ did his stupid, stupid heart want that from George? No, Mr Washington. He had to remember to refer to him as that, when he used his first name it always came out more sweet than it should, like George and Mr Washington were two separate people. George was the one who was sweet, who was kind, while Mr Washington was the one who used and broke. But it was ridiculous because that was all one man. One stupid, handsome man.

Lafayette didn’t pay attention to him, didn’t want to turn over another embarrassing piece of himself to him again, and headed to his next class.

Once the class was over they were given a 30 minute break like every other day. Lafayette headed to his room to grab some water as well as his books for his next class. He was suddenly stopped mid-hallway by a hand on his shoulder, whirling him around.

Lafayette gasped as he was quickly pulled into a dark, empty corridor where no one could see them. He felt lips crash against his own and he didn’t even need to open his eyes to know who it was that had dragged him here. His hands tightly gripped at the small of his back to pull him closer and Lafayette squirmed.

His first instinct was to push him away, get him off! They were in the middle of the school for God’s sake! Lafayette’s heart pounded in terror when he thought about the possibility of being discovered. He helplessly tried to pull away, but Mr Washington wasn’t finished yet.

He broke away from his lips and casually slid his hand down Lafayette’s trousers, a delightful smirk on his face.

“No! Sir! You can’t-“ he fidgeted, “not- not here.” He gulped, hands beginning to shake as tears threatened to fall from his eyes.

“I just wanted to tease you.” He purred darkly in his ear, causing Lafayette to shiver. “You said you like it when I tease you.” He chuckled.

“But-“

“Hush now. Be a good boy for me, alright?” Lafayette felt blinded again as he nodded his head. He didn’t want to agree, didn’t want to comply, but the delightful feelings of pleasure always seemed to dictate his thoughts.

“Yes sir.” He whispered, voice broken and cracked. He growled in his ear at that, and Lafayette shivered again as his head fell back against the wall. His little hands clung on tightly to Mr Washington’s jacket as he tried to quiet his little moans.

“You’re still so beautiful.” He smiled and Lafayette wept as he suddenly came into his palm. “That’s it.” He sighed, “that’s it.” Lafayette shook his head once he felt grounded. Fickle heart be damned he had to put a stop to this, he was getting bold and dangerous!

“Why do you look so sad?” He grinned, so wicked and vile.

“It is-“ he gulped, “it is nothing, sir.”

“Good. I want you to come over to my home tonight. You know the way, right? I’ve got something I want to show you.”

“Tonight?”

“I can get you a lamp.”

“O- ok.” Lafayette nodded, heart beating fast. He didn’t want whatever Mr Washington was going to offer. He had to finally refuse him once and for all. Tell him no and be done with it.

He felt sick at the thought as fear consumed him but he’d be damned if he continued to let Mr Washington consume him. He had to.

“Good. I’ll see you tonight.” He pressed a quick kiss to his ear and left the little corridor, wiping his hand with his handkerchief.

Lafayette quickly ran to his room to change out of his pants, holding back more tears. He also really had to stop crying so often.

A few hours later he found an oil lamp sitting in his room along with a note. It read:  _ Be here by 7, skip dinner. You’re doing extra work for me. _

Lafayette quickly crumbled up the note and shoved it into his pocket, not wanting to give it another look as disgust overtook him. No. He would tell him no once and for all and be done with this.

As 7 o’clock came closer, Lafayette grabbed the lamp and lit with the matches he gave him. Ms Arnault let him out of the school, nodding her head when Lafayette said he was doing extra work for Mr Washington. After she unlocked the door she suddenly paused and turned to look at Lafayette. She tutted and rummaged through her bag.

“Here, would you like this?”

“What?” Lafayette squealed, eyes locked onto the knife Ms Arnault was presenting him with.

“I would tell them it was an accident.” She smiled sweetly. Lafayette shook his head.

“Ms Arnault what are you- what are you talking about?” He felt his hand tremble, his lungs stop breathing.

“Oh, I know what’s going on. I thought you might appreciate this.” She grinned, “I’ve used it on my fair share of deserving men.”

“I can’t- I can’t stab him.” Lafayette panicked, sweat now seeping from him in sudden nervousness. 

“I’ve got a little gun if you think that would be easier.” She shrugged.

“No!” Lafayette shouted, finally able to move, “Ms- Ms Arnault I’m not killing him.”

“It’s what he deserves isn’t it?”

“No, no. I’m leaving soon. He won’t matter soon. I’ll be fine.” Dorothea put the knife back into her bag.

“If you ever need me don’t hesitate. I mean it, Lafayette. I know what that’s like and it’s not easy to get out of. Don’t let him control you, alright?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Oh don’t bother with that.” She smiled, opening the door, “good luck.”

“Thank you.” Lafayette smiled wearily as he headed into the cold air. He shook the terrible thoughts from his head. The horrible fear that clouded his mind and the little pervasive thought that asked him,  _ why not?  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I post updates on [tumblr!](https://jacepens.tumblr.com/)  
> 


	21. Dinner

Lafayette, trembling in the cold breeze reached out to knock on Mr Washington’s door, entirely unsure of what to expect. The door swung open and Lafayette was enveloped with a cozy warmth.

“Lafayette!” He smiled, “come in.” Lafayette didn’t reply, just nodded his head and walked inside while shedding his jacket. He jumped when Mr Washington moved to help him out of it. The tender feeling made Lafayette want to puke and helped him to keep his mind on his task. 

Looking around, he thought the home to be rather quaint and comfortable, a fireplace was lit in the main room that flickered light onto trinkets and mementos from the school. Lafayette carefully tread around and explored the small house, hoping he wasn’t stepping out of line in some way. 

“Are these things passed down from headmaster to headmaster?” Lafayette asked out of curiosity, eyes locked onto a portrait of a young man and his friends. 

“Yes, most of these things aren’t even my own. I’m not sure who is even in that picture.” He chuckled, bringing his hand to his shoulder. For a moment Lafayette melted at the tender gesture, until he remembered their meeting earlier today, their first time and every other bad image he could. He shrugged the hand off and continued walking around until he found the dining room. Of course. They were having dinner together. Lafayette almost cried again at the idea. The thought of something so domestic with _him_ was downright disgusting. And Lafayette had to constantly remind himself of that no matter how sweet he acted when he caressed his hand or passed him the salt. The scene was temporary. Lafayette knew this.

“So Lafayette,” George smiled having just swallowed a mouthful of potatoes, “what is it you wish to do after you graduate?” Lafayette tried not to visibly shiver as his tone changed from something warm to cold. The conversation had been kept light and truthfully delightful along with the food. Lafayette didn’t know what would be best to say, he didn’t know if lying would even be worth it if he planned to deny him anyway.

“I want to become a doctor actually. I’ll start getting my degree once I graduate.” Lafayette quickly looked at his food to eat more, to avoid the look on his face. He couldn’t help but feel scared about his response, couldn’t help but wonder if this was why he was here in the first place. It would certainly explain his sweetness if it was all to get what he wanted from him. Lafayette wasn’t sure why he didn’t simply demand it like he did with everything else, that seemed to be his typical strategy. 

“Hm.” Was all he did, similarly taking another bite of food, but not removing his eyes from Lafayette. A dreaded silence permeated the air and Lafayette wanted to run. He was upset, he knew it. He knew Lafayette didn’t want to stay with him, even _if_ he was an excellent cook, so what would he do now? 

“Have you ever considered becoming a teacher?” Lafayette choked a bit on his food. He coughed and took a sip of water, noticing the way his shaky hand couldn’t hold the glass steady. “I believe you’d have the right temperament for it.” He remarked simply, cold stare, not leaving Lafayette.

“No, I haven’t.” He muttered as coldly as he could. “Besides, my parents want me to be a doctor. I don’t get a say in that matter.”

“Doesn’t that bother you?”

“What?” His voice seemed to be barely above a whisper.

“I’m simply wondering if it would be nice to do what _you_ wished for once.” He shrugged as if he _wasn’t_ trying to sway Lafayette to do what he wanted.

“No.” He stuttered.

“Really?” He sneered and Lafayette shivered. 

“I could offer you a job next year teaching French. You could make your own money. Be in control of your own destiny, your own life. I’ve always wanted a French teacher here.” He replied coolly, taking a sip of water.

“I thank you for the offer but I’d much prefer-” suddenly with the scrape of his chair and a loud crash followed by something shattering, Mr Washington gripped his arm deathly tight.

“I know what you want.” He seethed, his eyes burning with unmistakable rage. Lafayette held back tears, terrified by the sudden outburst, mind melting to panic.

“Please-” he whispered, “No.”

“Dammit!” He roared, smacking his glass off the table to shatter on the floor with a crash. Lafayette began weeping in fear, his entire body shaking uncontrollably. “What the hell do I need to do to make you stay?”

“Stop.” He whispered through his shaky tears. “ _George please-”_

“Why don’t you stand up for yourself?” He cried, releasing Lafayette from his grip to bang his fist on the table. “If you want to leave then _do it!”_ He yelled, the dishes clattering from the impact. Lafayette was frozen in fear, his body felt completely numb as his mind screamed at him to _run,_ but he was frozen. 

He hadn’t noticed Mr Washington had even left him until he suddenly realized how quiet it was. His body still felt tight as he tried to move, tried to see where he had gone but he found him quite easily. He had slid to the floor, his head pressed to the wall, kneeling in broken dishes, weeping terrible broken sobs. Lafayette stared as George continued crying. No not just crying, it was pitiful _sobbing._ The kind that stirred any unfeeling heart into action and sympathy. Removing himself from the seat, Lafayette carefully tiptoed to his side, unsure if he was making the right choice.

“George?” He carefully nudged at his shoulder, scared to rile him up again. He yelped when he suddenly gripped his hand and brought him on his knees next to him. Lafayette looked into his eyes and saw something broken and terrified looking back at him.

“ _Please.”_ He pleaded, still weeping, “ _I can’t lose you too.”_

“I’m right here.” Lafayette nodded, wrapping his arm around George’s shoulder as he continued to sob. It was unholy and strange and so _heartbreaking_ Lafayette was left conflicted in his mind because maybe there was more to him than he originally imagined.

“ _Promise me.”_

“I-”

_“Promise me you won’t leave me.”_

“George I-”

 _“Lafayette.”_ He cried, pressing his wet face into Lafayette’s palm. “Stay. Tonight. Please?”

“Ok. Tonight.” 

“ _Thank you.”_ He smiled, pressing a kiss to his lips. Lafayette tried not to cringe once more, everything he had planned absolutely derailed. Who _was_ George? Why did he feel so much pity? Because he hadn’t known such a broken man lived inside Mr Washington, had no idea what this man carried. But should he truly care so much? Even so, he foolishly did.

They settled down in George’s bed, the dining room still a wreck of broken glass and plates. George wrapped his arms around him but they felt weak and so unlike him. Lafayette laid in bed, wondering what was happening. He wondered how he would explain his absence in the morning and he wondered why George wasn’t up doing his nightly work at the school. Ah, but he likely set other plans in place envisioning this night to end much differently. But so did Lafayette. Nothing about this night was how Lafayette wanted things to go. In fact, in some strange way he had ended closer to the man than ever before. 

Suddenly the arms around Lafayette began holding him deathly tight, so tight that Lafayette found himself struggling for air. George began crying once more as his fingers twitched. Lafayette swore he could make out words being whispered in his ear. Frantic, desperate words but soon his grip loosened and Lafayette took gulps of air. Something wasn’t right, that much was _clearly_ obvious, but Lafayette couldn't stick around to find out what. Perhaps he would have better luck telling him no in the morning? If he ever found sleep, that is. Even so, his heart ached in foolish sympathy and he was shamefully indecisive about his decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hang out with me on [tumblr!](https://jacepens.tumblr.com/)  
> 


	22. Breakfast

He brought it up again the next morning. He made breakfast and urged him to stay to eat it, saying no one would notice them missing on a Saturday morning. 

“I think you would enjoy it.” He tried again, rubbing his thumb against Lafayette’s hand as they ate. Lafayette fidgeted and played with the eggs in front of him.

“My family would be upset.” He mumbled into his plate.

“Do you really want to do whatever they tell you to?”

“Well what kid does?” Lafayette chuckled, shoveling the eggs into his mouth and looking down, hiding his discomfort with every forkful of eggs.

“Take it into consideration, alright? You could be trained over the summer and living your own life by next year. Although I’ll need to know soon to get the paperwork in order. A lot goes into offering a new language.” He nodded, “and if housing is a problem for you, there’s always room here.”

“But how-”

“Well who would need to know, hm?” He shrugged, hiding a smirk.

“Ah. Well I think that I should get going now,” Lafayette began, “but I will...I will think on it.” He added with hesitation.

“Sounds lovely.” He grinned, placing a kiss to the top of Lafayette’s head as he went to remove his plate from the table. As his back was turned Lafayette buried his face in his hands and tried to hold back his own hiccuping sobs.

He began trembling so violently he couldn’t take a breath of air as he wept just an arms reach away from his problem.

“Hey, are you alright?” Suddenly he froze as he felt the hand on his back, his tears temporarily stopped. He had never seen him cry before. “Is it...something I’ve said?” He got down on his knees to get a better look at Lafayette as he fought back tears. He sounded so sincere and Lafayette wondered what would happen if he was honest. Just a little?

“I don’t... _ George  _ it’s like I never get a say.” He sniffled, wiping his eyes on his sleeve. George looked up at him and kept silent, eager eyes waiting for him to continue.

“You make me feel used! Like I don’t  _ mean  _ anything to you, but I am terrified by the idea of  _ you  _ having- having  _ feelings.  _ I- I cannot stand it or you any longer!” He snapped, unrestrained tears rolling from his eyes.

“Lafayette, I’m sorry I didn’t know-”

“Why did you do it? Why continue? I don’t- I don’t  _ understand. _ ”

“I suppose I owe you an apology.” He sighed.

“You owe me more than an apology! I deserve an explanation!” He flared.

“I…” He sighed, “I suppose you know by now, but I am- I am a broken man.” Lafayette scowled. Like that wasn’t obvious. “You, ah, you make me...happy. I feel like I haven’t felt in years around you and I never saw it coming.” He smiled, “I know that I have been cruel to you, hurt you,  _ used  _ you, but you should know I only want to make you happy. Somewhere along the way I suppose I forgot...what kind of effort that takes. And I want to be better for you, I really do, because Lafayette,” he paused and reached out to grab his hand, “you mean everything to me.” Lafayette’s heart leapt in his chest. 

“I don’t-”

“Lafayette, before you I felt so lost. I don’t know what on Earth I will do if I lose you. Please, I will try to become better, I swear it. But I’ll need your help, it’s not something I can’t do on my own. Lafayette, please don’t give up on me.” He rasped, tears beginning to shine in his eyes as he stared at him with such dedication.

“George, I can’t-” Lafayette stuttered.

“When you got hurt, you asked for me to stay and be kind to you, and I am more than willing to do that for you. I want you to be happy with me. You can help me and soon you’ll never want to leave. I know that you don’t  _ hate  _ me.” He added with a sly chuckle.

“And what if I said I did.” He tested.

“You would break me.” He whispered. And Lafayette knew it was true. He didn’t even need to look at his despairing eyes, feel the way his hand was trembling in his. He knew it. The obvious, horrible truth. George needed him. Lafayette wasn’t sure if he had the nerves to tell him no. Not after the things he’d seen, not after the things he’d just said. He took a deep breath.

“Well, it’s a good thing I don’t.” He giggled, bending down to kiss the still kneeling man. George curled his hand around his neck and tangled his fingers in his hair.

“You..are so beautiful.” He smiled. Lafayette chuckled and pressed his forehead to George’s. He _ did _ always have that uncanny ability to make him feel special, and he was nice to fall asleep next to, wrapped in those arms. A job teaching French wouldn’t be so bad. He could make it work, he would have to wouldn’t he?

“George I-” He paused, about to seal himself to his own terrible fate. He knew he would back out later, now was the only time he would have the courage to say it. “I’ll stay with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen I'm so so sorry  
> [tumblr!](https://jacepens.tumblr.com/)  
> 


	23. Angel Food Cake

Suddenly in the span of a few weeks it felt like everything in Lafayette’s life had changed. He was filling out forms, taking extra training at night with George, finding good textbooks to purchase, and somehow, he hadn’t even graduated yet. 

All the extra work and stress left him feeling more exhausted than ever and increasingly so as the days continued. George on the other hand, couldn’t have been happier, even the students noticed it. He was letting things go,  _ smiling  _ at people in the hallway, and somehow it seemed to improve the whole school. It made Lafayette happy to feel like he made the right choice for once. George had never been happier and it was all because of him! 

They discussed more serious matters, taking into consideration Lafayette’s living situation, his salary, what was expected of him as a teacher. They eventually came to the conclusion that Lafayette’s address couldn’t simply be kept concealed but they pretended it was only temporary until Lafayette had more money of his own and a place to stay. Somehow no one seemed bothered and didn’t question the fact that Lafayette literally had all the money he could ever want. Lafayette still found himself continually stunned by the amount of things people could be blind to. Even Ms Arnault, who agreed to help cover up George’s murder, was happy with the result. Maybe no one questioned it because they too found joy out of seeing the man so happy.

His friends didn’t understand, but Lafayette told them it wasn’t permanent, just a way to learn a few things that couldn’t be taught at school and  _ then  _ he’d go to college. He also conveniently left out the part about his living situation.

All in all, Lafayette found he couldn’t complain. George was sweet, his life was moving in a new direction, and all seemed well. Except for that sick feeling in his stomach, that ache that seemed to linger wondering if he was really doing the right thing, but he gave it no attention because all it took was one glance at the man to  _ know  _ he’d done the right thing. What could be so wrong about making someone else happy? But Lafayette never even considered his own happiness.

“I still can’t believe we’re graduating next week.” Alex spoke up one day at lunch, a wistful smile glowing on his face. It was said at least  _ everyday _ by someone and today it seemed to be Alex. “Who the hell is actually ready for this?” Everyone laughed and chuckled, wondering if they were or not and coming to the conclusion that they certainly were not. Lafayette smiled at his friends, too tired to laugh as he closed his eyes heavy with exhaustion. He yawned and Eliza turned to him.

“Are you feeling alright Lafayette? You’ve been yawning a lot lately.” She remarked, face scrunching up in concern.

“It’s just all the extra work I’m doing getting ready for next year.” He mumbled sleepily, sighing and poking at his food.

“Why aren’t they doing this over the summer?” She asked kindly.

“George just wants to make sure I’m ready, is all. There’s a lot of work that goes into becoming a teacher.” He nodded.

“George?” She asked, a frown forming across her face as she tilted her head.

“Sorry!” He jumped, “Mr Washington. I’m sorry, I’m already in the habit of calling him by first name I suppose.” He sweated, nervously wringing his hands together. Eliza chuckled and shrugged.

“I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. I don’t know what it is, but I’ve never seen him so happy in my life.” Lafayette smiled, heart filling with pride and joy as he puffed out his chest a little.

“Yeah, makes it pretty easy on me.” He smiled easily, anxiety gone. He was extremely lucky that Anna was deeply engaged in a particularly stern lecture towards Ben about one thing or another, but Lafayette shrugged because he usually always deserved it. He was thankful she didn’t hear the name slip-up, he had to be more careful in the future, and maybe try to get more sleep?

That night he headed towards George’s office for their nightly work and training. Lafayette grabbed his bag off the floor, skirt still tucked inside just in case, and headed out the door. In the silence of the halls his shoes clacked defiantly, echoing through the silence of sleeping students. He knocked on the door gently until he heard a “come in” and he let himself in.

“Hello Lafayette.” George grinned, wide and so sincere that it made Lafayette’s heart flutter in his chest.

“Hello George.” He smiled back meekly. Since when was he so flustered around him?

“You’ve been working so hard, I thought that you might like a little break tonight, and I know how fond you are of sweets so…” he trailed off, displaying a slice of a pastel colored slice of cake on a little plate. Lafayette gasped and quickly ran to George’s side, dumping his bag on the floor.

“Is this a slice of an orange dream angel food cake?” He squealed excitedly.

“It is indeed.” 

“Oh thank you so much!” Lafayette giggled, wrapping his arms around George.

“You’re very welcome.” He smiled, handing Lafayette the plate and a fork. Lafayette rushed to his seat across the desk to begin eating. It had been too long since he had his favorite kind of cake. Every bite reminded him of spending summers with his grandmother in France while his parents were off doing God knows what. 

As he continued to eat, he couldn’t help but feel more joy every time he saw George. This was a  _ real  _ gift, a real gesture of kindness that  _ proved  _ there was something good in him. Something worth sticking around for. When he finished the slice with a smile, George pulled him close and kissed Lafayette deeply, chasing the fleeting taste of orange. Lafayette sighed and pulled him closer, it had been a while hadn’t it? And Lafayette was now in an incredibly good mood, so what better time than the present?

“Do you have it in your bag?” He whispered against his ear after he pulled away from a kiss. Lafayette didn’t need to ask to know what he was referring to.

“Yeah. You want me to get it?” He purred, voice slightly ragged.

“Nothing would make me happier.” He leered. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hang out with me on [tumblr!](https://jacepens.tumblr.com/)  
> 


	24. Undecided

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So before you hop in, this chapter takes place months later. I've made a bit of a time skip to speed the story up and also because I just wanted to. Anyway, I apologize for my little absence, this chapter is longer than usual to say sorry. Enjoy! (I'm excited for the future of this fic!!) Also! Thank you so much for over 1000 hits!! I mean, what?? I never thought this fic would ever see that many so it means a lot. Thanks! for every kudos and comment too!

Lafayette looked ahead at the wall covered in posters with dull eyes. He had graduated months ago with a degree that sat displayed on his wall for the students to see. Today was his first day teaching and he never felt more unprepared for anything. Not to mention he was utterly exhausted as George kept him up all night when he had wanted to go to bed early so he could feel just a _little_ prepared for this day, but no.

He gripped his coffee and chugged the bitter taste down, he was so tired he forgot to put sugar in it this morning. He found it incredibly hard to believe that _months_ had passed since his graduation, since he told George he would stay. That sick feeling he felt when he first agreed never left him either, in fact it only got worse every morning he woke up next to him and realized there would be no escape. His friends were scattered miles away, his parents were so furious they stopped giving him money, so now Lafayette was entirely dependent on George. He sometimes wondered if George used that as leverage to get what he wanted. Like he didn’t always get what he wanted, Lafayette thought bitterly as the first students headed into his classroom.

Lafayette took a deep breath and set his mug down. There would be time for moping later, for now he had a class to teach. When class ended, Lafayette sighed and slumped into his desk chair, opening up desk drawers to file away various papers he was given. His eyes landed on the small box wrapped in fabric hiding in the back, begging to be taken out. Lafayette gulped, quickly closing the drawer. It was a mistake to ever buy that, and with the last bit of money he had too. Far too soon it was time for his next class as Lafayette took another deep breath, steeling himself. 

“Good day class, my name is Marquis de Lafayette and I’ll be teaching you French this year.” He smiled, but it did not reach his eyes.

Once the day was over, he headed over to George’s office like he always wanted. He said hello to the new secretary whose name he couldn’t remember, and headed inside George’s office.

“Gilbert!” He smiled, “how was your day?” He had also started calling him Gilbert, which Lafayette never said he could do.

“A bit overwhelming.” He sighed, sitting across from George. 

“Those kids will be like that on the first day.” He smiled fondly. Lafayette met his smile and felt his heart flutter. Even on the worst of days he would always be a little weak for that smile. He supposed it wasn’t all bad living with George, it just got tiring sometimes. Especially when George would become upset or angry for days, Lafayette never knew what to do other than the usual things that made him happy, but sometimes even that wasn’t enough. Lafayette couldn’t help but shake when he saw those angry eyes. “Would you like anything special for tonight?” He asked, signing papers.

“You know I love your braised chicken.” He smiled, letting his head fall back as he stared at the ceiling. 

“Then braised chicken it is.” He nodded, clicking his pen shut. He walked over to Lafayette and leaned down to press a kiss to his lips. “Is there anything else you’d like?” He whispered against his ear, giving Lafayette shivers.

“You know I love it when you get on your knees for me.” He giggled, copying himself from before.

“Then get on my knees I shall.” He smirked, “Anything for you.” He quickly wedged himself between the space between his desk and Lafayette’s chair.

“George!” Lafayette scolded, “not here! Your secretary is still out there!” He flashed worried eyes to the door as George shushed him and pulled his zipper down. He felt his face go hot in embarrassment as George began gently stroking him. He shifted in his seat, from nerves and from slight arousal as he pressed his tongue against his cock. Lafayette let out a low whine and practically kicked himself for still getting so turned on by the man. It was still his biggest weakness.

He let out a deep exhale as his lips wrapped around him and he felt his hot tongue dart around everywhere he needed him and everywhere he couldn’t stand it. His grip tightened on the chair as he pushed more down his throat and Lafayette whimpered when he felt himself tapping the edge of his throat. He sank his head up and down and Lafayette worked up a sweat trying not to cry out as he continued. He felt the familiar pressure and heat build and build each time George’s mouth returned to take him in full. Before he knew it, it was too overwhelming and he was shoving his fist his mouth as he came. 

He panted and collected his thoughts, mind running amok when he felt George’s lips on his own. He pushed his tongue between his lips, making Lafayette taste himself and he couldn’t pretend he didn’t find that extremely hot. Lafayette pulled him closer and kissed him rougher, nipping at his lips with a delighted smirk. 

“Gilbert.” George warned after a particularly cruel nibble.

“What?” He purred, batting his eyelashes like he always did when he was in trouble.

“You’re not getting out of here without returning the favor.” He growled.

“Of course not, sir.” He teased, reaching his hand into George’s pants. 

He roughly pushed him away. “On your knees.” He spat. Lafayette frowned. Right. Memories flashed in his mind of the time he sucked George off in the nurse’s office. He remembered loving the way he groaned, yanked his hair, told him how good he was, now it felt so gross. He couldn’t say what changed but sitting on the dirty floor, George’s hand yanking his hair however he liked, always made him feel completely used and like nothing special. He swallowed his come and closed his eyes tight, fighting the urge to pull away.

“You’ve always been so good at that.” He sighed, a sleepy smile on his face. Lafayette grimaced, wiping at his cheek and removing himself from the floor. “Shall we get going, now?” Lafayette didn’t say anything but nodded, fixing his hair as best as he could.

The house he shared with George was still the same, but now his bedside table carried pictures of his old friends while George protected his with fervor. For the longest time, Lafayette ached to know what he was hiding but was always too afraid of what might happen if George caught him.

George got started on dinner while Lafayette helped prepare sides. Admittedly, his cooking skills had improved tremendously since he moved in. He supposed things could be worse with George. It wasn’t as if he made him cook and clean everything or hit him, he frowned and wondered of all the women who would kill to be in his spot. He should at least be a little more grateful, but he couldn’t help but dream how his life would be now if he hadn’t stayed. He could be starting college today, maybe have gone with one of his friends, but instead he’s alone. Sometimes he missed a nice, genuine conversation. He never got those with George.

They ate at the table in silence, their forks clinking against the plates as they ate. Lafayette grinned as he ate. Damn if he wasn’t a good cook. Lafayette cleaned their dishes and headed to the bathroom to make himself ready for bed. He heard shuffling outside his door but assumed that was George loitering about and waiting for him to leave. 

He sighed and looked in the mirror, at his sunken eyes, his small wrinkles, his dry skin, he looked so...tired. No matter how often he told himself everyday he should be happy it never seemed to change the way he felt. Never changed that sick feeling when George called him Gilbert or kissed him, never changed the sickness he felt when they slept together every night. Sure, he could have his brief moments of happiness in ecstasy or tasty food, but it faded and vanished. 

He had changed so much.

“Lafayette? Would you hurry up? I have something for you.” His stomach lurched as he splashed his face with cold water, heading outside.

“What is it?” He cocked his head.

“Well, I knew that I wanted to get you something nice for your first day and my secretary gave me a lovely idea, though don’t worry, she believes it to be for my niece.” Lafayette did not worry, in fact he had not worried about that in quite some time. “But here! I hope you enjoy it.” He held out a box that Lafayette took and carefully opened. He shouldn’t be surprised.

Lafayette a few months ago would be thrilled, would admire the stitching or the sweet little buttons, thank George profusely and immediately put it on, so excited. But Lafayette held out the swing dress. It was a sweet light blue color with small, white polka dots across the whole dress. The waist was tapered by a bow of the same color and it flared into a cute skirt that went just above his knee. Lafayette smiled, almost feeling wistful thinking about how he would have loved this dress and pondering when exactly that changed. He forced his grin wider and looked at George, waiting patiently with his hands clasped behind his back.

“Thank you George, it’s lovely.”

“Do you want to try it on now?”

“Oh, I don’t think I should. It's awfully late.”

“Oh come on, I can put on my Ella Fitzgerald records and teach you how to swing dance.” He smiled playfully.

“No thank you, I know how to swing.” Lafayette smiled as politely as he could manage while rushing off, dress clutched in his hands. He squealed when the man gripped his wrist and whirled him around to face him. Lafayette saw that familiar look of anger in his eyes and felt himself begin to tremble, his heart hammering in his chest.

“You will put on that damn dress and dance with me or you won’t be allowed to stay here any longer.”

Lafayette gulped, trying his best to maintain eye contact but the longer he did the more and more terrified he became. “Yes sir.” He whispered.

“See that wasn’t so hard was it?” He let go of his wrist and Lafayette snapped it back to his side. 

“If you’ll excuse me.” He still trembled as he practically ran towards the bathroom to change.

“Oh come now, there’s no need for modesty.” Lafayette almost spat a curse as he stopped in his tracks. In George’s eyes, modesty and _privacy_ seemed to be the exact same thing. He didn’t say another word, didn’t even look back at him as he began to remove his clothes and drop them to the floor. He could feel George’s eyes raking down his form, and if he was quiet enough he could hear his heavy breathing. He wanted to curse again. This was not about getting a nice gift for him, it never was. It was about a new dress to force Lafayette into to satisfy his needs. He was George’s pretty doll at this point. He turned around, removing the deep scowl from his face.

“Now isn’t that just lovely?” He smiled, dark and cruel. 

Lafayette’s jaw ached from grinding his teeth. “Lovely.” He agreed.

George went to turn on his record player and placed the record carefully on, setting the needle on top. The record played static for a few moments until the familiar sound of horns and trumpets began blaring to a swing beat that always had a way of making you want to dance. Lafayette took a deep breath as he grabbed the outstretched hand. Dancing was fun, dancing was fun. He breathed, laughed even, when George pulled him in.

He smiled and rocked back and forth on alternating feet, hoping he wouldn’t get off beat or end up on the wrong foot at any point. He squealed when George suddenly whirled him out and spun him back in while Lafayette got lost on his footing. He laughed again when he crashed back into George as he grinned at him, all his venom gone. These were the moments he adored. They danced for some time, George leading him about the room with confidence and pulling and turning him this way and that. Lafayette laughed, his head feeling dizzy, completely lost on his steps, no matter how simple it was.

His good mood was ruined when he felt his hand slide lower and lower and Lafayette frowned. The record suddenly stopped and George went to turn it over. They resumed dancing for a moment longer until George’s look turned lustful and he pulled Lafayette closer to kiss him, urging more from him. Lafayette pulled away and tried to act as if he wasn’t disgusted at George for ruining his good mood.

“George, I am incredibly tired from last night and everything that’s happened today. I would like to rest tonight. We can do this some other time.” He yanked him close again, his arms around his waist.

“Don’t you owe me for getting you this nice dress?” He growled against his ear.

“But George I- I’m not in the mood.” Lafayette said, with more insistence. 

“When have I ever not taken care of you?” He purred more sweetly, cupping his face and brushing his hair behind his ear. Lafayette’s eyes fluttered down and he seemed to take this as a good sign as he pushed him onto the couch. 

The record of Ella continued to play as George fucked him. He found it more enjoyable in that moment to listen to her than George as he cooed about how pretty he was. Lafayette pretended some enjoyment, he knew it would be a mess if he didn’t, but his mind was busy listening to Ella sing.

_If you’ve got a heart_

_And if you’re kind_

_Then don’t keep us apart_

_Make up your mind_

_You’re undecided now_

_So what are you gonna do?_

Lafayette wondered the answer to Ella’s question, an answer appearing in the back of his mind. One that he thought on far too often at times like this. He smiled, genuine and rare as was the feeling that accompanied it. God that was an attractive idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lafayette's [dress](https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/2505/5036/products/SCV000069_BL-1_1024x1024.jpg?v=1584432798)  
> the [song!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FMUi3TkNO04)  
> and my [tumblr](https://jacepens.tumblr.com/)  
> where I post updates and other fun stuff  
> 


	25. Revelations and Realizations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end is near...  
> (Don’t mind me, just being dramatic for extra effect)

Lafayette shoved the small box into his bag when he arrived at the school in the morning. Before the students could start to pile into his classroom, before he could worry about George finding it in his bag.

Students began to trickle in and Lafayette put on the best smile he could manage. He was sure the dark circles and bags under his eyes revealed how little sleep he was getting, was positive one day some snoopy kid would ask why he always yawned, why he always spent so much time around the headmaster. No such queries ever came.

It was odd to Lafayette. To teach kids who he once saw as just younger classmates, but he felt aged beyond his years just from the few months he’d spent with George. It became easier to see them as just kids, like Lafayette once was. Full of dreams, of hope. If he ever caught a whiff of a teacher here treating a student like Lafayette had been treated, he would put a stop to it immediately. No one deserved this kind of pathetic life. Resigned to stay in one spot, too afraid to move. Too much to lose. And yet somehow Lafayette often felt he had nothing to lose.

When the lunch bell rang, Lafayette remembered with a gasp he promised Mr Arno- _Benedict_ that he would have lunch with him. He said he wanted to know why and when Lafayette took an interest in teaching, asked if maybe he could teach him a thing or two about French. Lafayette had smiled at the last part, swallowing his anxiety down as he wondered how he would seem passionate.

He grabbed the leftovers he’d packed and headed to Arnold’s room, same satchel on his shoulder. Maybe he should consider getting a new one.

“Lafayette.” Benedict smiled as he looked up from a stack of papers on his desk. “It’s good to see you. Come in, sit down.” Lafayette felt the tension melt from his shoulders as a smile curled his lips. Benedict had always been a comforting, trustworthy presence in his life.

Lafayette sat in a desk across from Benedict, gently setting his satchel to the ground and grabbing his lunch.

“How are the kids treating you?” He asked Lafayette as he grabbed his own food.

“Oh, as well as anyone could ask for.” Lafayette smiled, putting a forkful of cold potatoes in his mouth.

“You know, I don’t think we’ve ever had anyone immediately transfer from student to teacher. It’s nice to see.” He smiled gently. Lafayette gulped. “Of course I can’t speak of the whole school’s history, but I haven’t at least seen it in my time.” He nodded, eyes turning to his food.

“Yes, well, the opportunity was presented to me and it seemed a...” he paused, fumbling for a genuine word. “A good way to improve lives.” He shoved down that sick feeling with another forkful of potatoes.

“Yes, I understand the feeling.” He smiled wistfully, “and George has always had a good eye for talent. It’s no surprise to me that he saw your potential.” A sudden bile climbed up his throat, causing Lafayette to suddenly grab at a napkin while lurching forward and gagging on the sick burn.

“Oh! Lafayette! Are you alright?” Benedict began, rising from his seat. Lafayette swallowed with considerable struggle, tears pricking his eyes at the horrible burning and sour taste.

“Yes.” He sputtered brokenly. “It was a sudden sickness.” Benedict stayed on his feet as if prepared to rush him to a hospital at the drop of a hat. “My stomach must not be agreeable today, that’s all.” He tried his best reassuring smile while pushing his food away to the disappointment of his aching stomach. He really wasn’t in the mood for eating anyway, this just made his excuse much more easy.

“If you need to go home you can.” Benedict said, sitting back down. “Or if you’d like, you could leave my company if you’d rather be alone.”

“No, no. I will be fine. Please, let us continue our conversation.” And there was that look again on Benedict’s face. The one so genuine and caring it hurt. The one that he felt could see right through the burdens and the pain he was carrying. Then it was gone. Lafayette stared at the food, too nervous he would speak and divulge his every last secret.

“Yes, of course.” He began, averting his gaze. “Lafayette I-“ his heart began hammering. What was he expected to say? “You don’t look to be in good health.”

“It is only the food, I told you-“ he spoke hurriedly, words falling off of his tongue.

“No, not just now. You’ve looked like this for months now. And I can’t continue to shake the feeling that there is just something you’re not telling me, something I’m not seeing.” He frowned, looking up at Lafayette, his eyes wide and pitiful.

“Perhaps that’s for the best.” He mumbled quietly. He’s chose his path, there was no leaving it.

“Lafayette!” Benedict shouted as Lafayette stood to gather his things.

“No, please.” He shook his head, heaving his satchel over his shoulder. “I’ll get over it.” He exhaled shakily, quietly walking out the door without another word.

He slumped against his classroom chair, then leaned over to smush his face against the cold wood. He felt so so tired. He didn’t think for a second about the words he just said, the consequences of what he just did. Everything in him felt sluggish and heavy. Benedict wouldn’t do anything anyway, Lafayette was sure of it. But perhaps he could skip the rest of the day.

Curl up under his covers, maybe even grab a book and enjoy being alone for a while. Benedict could attest to his sickness if need be. He just hoped George would allow it. Things weren’t as simple as getting a note from the nurse anymore.

But leaving would require him to move, which he did not feel particularly inclined to do. After a moment and with a heavy sigh he stood, grabbed his bag and walked out of his classroom. His feet carried him to his destination while his mind enjoyed the silent hallways.

He smiled at George’s secretary, knocked on his door and let himself inside.

“George, I’m feeling terribly sick and I think it best if I go home.” He began without any hellos. George looked up from his work, not even the smallest look of sympathy on his face.

“Sick? Today? What’s wrong?” His questions were short and clipped, he clearly caught him at a bad time.

“Well I almost threw up in Benedict’s classroom, you can ask him if you like. I feel I could still hurl at any minute and I think it best if the students don’t witness it.” He looked up from his papers, eyebrow arched.

“You were with Benedict?” Lafayette felt his chest begin to burn in anger at the accusations in those words, the possessiveness.

“He asked me to have lunch with him, but I couldn’t eat a thing.”

“Fine.” George huffed, gaze going back down to his paper, “be sure to let Ms Hrymn know before you go.”

“Of course, goodbye George.” He tried a light smile to see if he could get anything back. He didn’t even acknowledge him as he left the office. 

Once everything had been settled, Lafayette decided to make himself some hot chocolate. He grimaced when he passed by that stupid dress left on the floor. He kicked it under the couch so he wouldn’t have to look at it.

He could feel himself begin to relax at the thought of being alone only for a few hours. It brought a smile to his face as he grabbed a pot and some chocolate and sugar. He set about quickly preparing his drink, feeling more enthusiastic by the minute, his mind racing with fun little things he could do while George was not around.

He could sing and dance to a record like he used to with his friends, or hell, get in his car and drive into town for a bit, leave a note, see a movie. He chuckled a bit at the thought, there was no way he could get away with that. Lafayette always had to go with George and there wasn’t enough time to go  _and_ come back without him noticing. He suddenly gasped when he thought of the  _perfect_ thing to do while pouring his drink into a mug.

He could find out what George was hiding in that damn side table once and for all. He grinned wickedly, grabbing the warm mug and rushing into their room with an enthusiasm he hadn’t know in months. His heart hammered loudly in fear and excitement.

He sat down on George’s side of the bed, leaving his mug on the table. With slightly shaky hands he reaching out to pull the handle of the drawer, his mouth feeling dry. He slowly pulled it open as if he would be around to hear it. The first thing he saw was old papers, a few small pieces scattered around and a couple of bundles in the back.

Lafayette reached for a bundle wrapped in twine. He gasped when he got it in his hands. Pictures! They were pictures! Of...George?  


He laughed, covering his mouth as he unwrapped the string. There was no denying exactly who that was leaned against another’s shoulder, his arm wrapped around another man next to him.

He wore a wide, stupid smile and a certain confident gait that made Lafayette chuckle to think about what George was like at his age. The two men next to him were equally smiling brightly, donned in fresh, crisp uniforms.  _Oh_.  These were pictures of George during the war.

Flipping through the photos, he saw those two men repeatedly with George. The closer he looked the more he felt one strongly resembled George. Was it possible he had a brother? Lafayette frowned at the thought, realizing the only reason he’d never mention him was because he died during the war. Lafayette gulped and looked at more pictures in the bundle.

He was right. The man who resembled George was soon in none of them. At the same time, Lafayette never saw George’s easygoing smile after his brother disappeared. He chewed the inside of his lip a bit, while he examined the last few photos. George and the other man, whoever he was, were always in close proximity, touching each other in ways that at first glance wouldn’t be seen as anything other than friendly but after so many pictures he could get a good idea of who he was to George.

Well, nothing wrong in that he supposed. But the last few pictures really began to put things into perspective. He saw the man but he looked very different from the man in the war photos. In every photo he was wearing a different dress or skirt, his hair was grown out long and Lafayette felt his stomach lurch.

He recognized that porch he was standing on.  _Oh God._ Whoever this person was, was here. _Oh my God_ , he lived here. Lafayette gripped the last photo tightly, his hands trembling as tears began to fill his eyes, everything donning on him so suddenly.

He was a replacement.

A filler in George’s life for someone clearly very important to him. But it was the last photo in particular that made the tears spill out of his eyes and his lungs burn in his chest. The proof he needed to know that was all he was to George.

The last photo contained him, on the same couch, giving the camera a funny little look and he was wearing nothing but that floral garter belt and light stockings that George gifted  _him_ months ago.

He threw the pictures down with a cry, watching the blurry shapes flutter down. He clutched his knees, buried his face in them still sobbing. He began shaking and gasping for air, while his world crashed around him.

The few shaky things he tried to build a relationship on crumbling to pieces before his eyes. He knew they could never be perfect, or even good, but  _this? _ The idea that it was never  _Lafayette_. The idea that it could have any boy willing to wear women’s clothes and fill the role of this man for George.

He jumped so far when he suddenly heard the door slam shut. He cried out, wiping his eyes and rushing, shaking, to put those pictures back.  _Merde, merde, merde, merde!_

“Lafayette!” That wasn’t George.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My [tumblr](https://jacepens.tumblr.com/) where I will take prompt requests  
> 


	26. His Own Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for joining me for another chapter! Somehow this chapter is longer than the last one. Oops. Anyway, I hope you enjoy!
> 
> And kudos is appreciated and comments are adored!! :)

He quickly ran out of the room to see who was there, his nerves feeling completely shot.

“Benedict?” Lafayette shouted, eyes still blurry.

“Oh my god, Lafayette. You poor kid.” He rushed over to him and Lafayette went stiff as his arms wrapped around him to bring him into a tight embrace. What the  _hell_ was going on?

Lafayette struggled out of the strange embrace and Benedict quickly let go.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he rushed out, “oh  God , kid I’m so sorry.” Lafayette looked up to see he had begun crying. He began feeling even more panicked at the sight.

“What- what is going on?” He hesitantly backed up, throat still so tight, face red and splotchy.

“I know, Lafayette, he- he told me.” He rushed out, sounding frantic and out of breath.

“I don’t- what do you mean?”

“He was furious at me for talking to you Lafayette, and I didn’t know why and then-“ he covered his mouth as an ugly, choked sob escaped. “He  _bragged_ to me. About every last thing he’s made you do and I- kid, I’ve let you down.” He cried.

“Let...what?” Lafayette shook his head wiping the tears from his eyes. 

“Listen, I’ve got friends in the next town over. They’d let you stay with them as long as you need. You can leave now, I’ll take you there.”

“What- what are you saying? You want me to  _leave?_ ” He cried out, entire body still shaking as he wrapped his arms around himself.

“Yes, Lafayette, I can get you out of here. I can get you away from him. He doesn’t know where they live, doesn’t even know we’re on speaking terms. It’s the perfect place to go.”

“Why would I leave?” Lafayette felt confused tears fall from his eyes. “Please, I don’t- I can’t-“ he didn’t know what he was trying to say, and the words couldn’t get out over the lump in his throat. “No, no. I’m stuck, ok? I’m  _stuck_.  Here! And- and it’s my fault. All of this, it’s because of me. I shouldn’t just leave. God, if I left-“ He shouted, working himself up, his heart pounding louder and louder over his words.

“Lafayette, please.” Arnold reached out to place a hand on his shoulder. He looked at him with soft and caring eyes, still wet with tears like he was in grief. “ _None_ of this is your fault, you understand me? That George is a selfish piece of shit and  _you?_ Lafayette, you are someone who cares, someone who can see others before himself. Listen to me. All the things he’s told you, all the things he’s done didn’t happen because of you. They happened because that man is far worse off than I ever imagined.” His voice sounded strained at those last words. “Lafayette, I’m not going to force you into anything. Let me be clear about that. But you can leave. Whatever you need, I’ll give you. If you just want some cash to leave and go where you wish, I’ll give you that. If you want me to make sure George never shows his face here again,  _I will give you that_ _.”_ He seethed, grief and shock turning to burning anger. The hand on his shoulder tensed before snapping away.

Lafayette gulped, looking at the only person in the world who he’s felt could truly help him for once. Could truly see something in Lafayette he hadn’t known existed. But could Lafayette find the strength to let him help? To leave? Lafayette walked out of the room without another word.

He went into his bedroom, seeing red. He grabbed the scattered photos, opened the drawer and grabbed every last paper and the other bundle he didn’t look at. He walked back into his living room, saw Arnold was still there and he felt a relief crash over him.

“I’m coming with you.” He gulped, still shaking and so hesitant. Until he looked at the contents in his hands. “And I’m bringing these,” He lifted up the stack of papers and photos. “To  _burn_.”

Arnold looking confused as he stared at the papers in Lafayette’s shaking hands.

“Would you like to bring anything else?” He asked after a moment, voice soft.

Lafayette cocked his head in consideration before going to grab his satchel. He emptied all its contents on the floor, not bothering to clean it up. Let George see what all he was leaving behind. Every damn  _gift_ he never asked for. How many of those dresses belonged to that man, anyway?

He shoved the papers in the satchel, grabbed the small box he took earlier this morning, the little cash he had, and walked back to meet Arnold.

“This is all that’s important to me.” He remarked cooly. Arnold nodded.

“Then let’s be on our way, if you  are  certain about this, that is.” Lafayette paused in the doorway. It had been a long time since he considered his opinion important. All he had to do was nod his head and then  _that_ was the only thing listened to.

Lafayette was positive he hadn’t been certain about a damn thing in months but he was actually...quite certain about this.

He closed the door behind him, and walked off the porch that man once stood on to follow Arnold to his car.

The whole drive was consumed by silence as Lafayette sunk deep into the seats and deep into thought. The car soared down the bumpy road and the only constant sound inside was the sound of Arnold tensing and untensing his hand on the leather steering wheel. The man was clearly still fuming, although Lafayette distantly couldn’t see what there was to be so angry about.

Then he remembered the pictures and his chest burned tight as his face scrunched in anger.

“ _Fuck you George_. ” Lafayette spat out quietly, unable to bottle his anger a second longer. Arnold turned his way, a look of concern on his face but he didn’t say anything, just turned his gaze back to the road.

“Arnold, what do you know about George?” Lafayette spoke up a moment later, pushing himself up, feeling slightly better after cussing. And besides, he had questions that needed answers.

Arnold chuckled, dry and short. “I know practically all there is to know. I’ve known him since the war. I always thought...” he trailed off, then shook his head furiously. “Doesn’t matter. I thought wrong. Why, kid?”

“I found those pictures of him during the war. He was always with two others. I need to know who they were.” He snapped his head to Arnold, glaring.

Arnold let out a long sigh, never turning his gaze from the road. “Well, I used to not want to give out this sort of information but there isn’t a damn reason to protect him now. That would be Lawrence and Joseph.”

“Who-?” Arnold held up his hand, slight smile on his face.

“Jeez, let me finish, kid.” Lafayette smiled at that. “Lawrence was his brother, half-brother I think, but you wouldn’t know it. Those two were always a pair, on and off the field. And George always looked up to Lawrence, would never admit it, but it was the most obvious thing in the world to everyone else.

“Now both of them were the ones going out on the field to pick up the injured soldiers and bring them back for treatment which they would then also assist in. It was tough work, terrifying stuff too. I couldn’t imagine what they had to see, but they did it together, and I think that was how they got through that horror. Until the day George was the one dragging Lawrence back.” A coil of sickness burned in his stomach at the thought. He looked back out the window after Arnold began again with a sigh.

“But it was too late. There was nothing to be done. Poor man was never the same after that. But of course, there was Joseph.” Lafayette’s chest felt tight again. So that was his name. Sort of ironic that was also one of Lafayette’s names.

“Joseph and George met after they got stationed in the same city. It’s how I met them, after all. But Joseph he- well you could tell he was a little different from the rest. Always liked to smell clean, always was just tidying little things up that truthfully should never have gotten as bad as they were. He was different but he was just the kind of difference you need sometimes in life. But don’t get me wrong, kid. That man wasn’t afraid of a fight.” He laughed, louder this time. “Whether it was on the field or off. Everyone knew to not get on Joseph’s bad side. But all that together meant he never found much companionship, but George. George couldn’t stay away.” He smiled, reminiscing through the old memories.

Lafayette sunk into his seat, unsure if he could listen to a romantic tale of George and the man he was supposed to be.

“You don’t seem much interested in how they found each other, and even I don’t know all the details. All I know is once they were together, they were never apart. And then there were two people guaranteed to be by his side. But after Lawrence’s death, you could tell that was not the same man. He was always angry, always stewing over one thing or another, always prone to lash out. And I can only imagine what Joseph had to deal with. I don’t know why on earth he stayed with George as long as he did.

“But, the war was over soon after that and like most men returning home he didn’t know what to do, where to go, and neither did Joseph. I’m not sure how it happened, but the former headmaster was looking to retire and he happened to know George’s family so in he moved, and Joseph came with him. After Joseph moved here I never saw much of him but I heard much about him from George. About how he was growing his hair out, wanting to wear dresses, asking for George to refer to him as a woman after a while, you know things like that.” Lafayette snorted a little.

“What?” Arnold asked, clueless.

“ ‘things like that’ sounds to me like maybe we should be calling Joseph she.”

“I wouldn’t know.” He shrugged, “I never understood it and George always called him, well he.”

“I guess.” Lafayette sighed, “go on. What happened?”

“Well another thing about George and Joseph was they started getting into fights  _a lot_.  I was the only one who knew about them so he’d always come to me everyday with a new complaint about Joseph. Even told me sometimes he would leave for days on end only to always return back to George. And then one day he just, never came back.”

“Huh. And when was that?”

“Oh, years ago now.”

“Right.” He grumbled.

“Those papers you took were his, right?”

“Yeah.”

“And you want to burn it?”

“Yes.” He hissed through gritted teeth.

“You looked through everything?”

“No, but I don’t think I want to.”

Arnold shrugged his shoulders.

“It might tell you something about him no one knew.”

“Or it’ll tell me how little I really meant. Or how much  _Joseph_ meant to him.”

“I don’t get it, kid.” He shook his head.

“What?” Lafayette spat, ready to defend himself.

“Do you like him?”

Lafayette relaxed back down.

“I don’t know.” He paused, “In a strange way I always have, and I just thought- well I thought he cared more for me than I did him so it just seemed-“

“It seemed like you could make yourself feel the same?”

“Yeah.” He huffed, “but now that I know that  _I’m_ not the one he really cared about it just makes me feel like everything I’ve done was a complete waste. You know if he did like me, then ok, that’s better than someone who hates me, but it was just-“ he sniffled. “It was never me.”

Arnold reached over to lay his hand on top of Lafayette’s. Didn’t move to grab his fingers or palm, just rested his hand on top of Lafayette’s like some sort of security blanket. Lafayette let out a long sigh.

“I know that sounds tough.” Arnold said, then after a moment, “But he’s not your problem to fix.” Lafayette looked up.

“I didn’t say anything about-“

“He guilted you, Lafayette. Into thinking you needed to stay and help. That he cared about you and your absence would break him, but listen to me Lafayette.  _He is not your problem to fix._

“I always knew he was a little strange. What kind of man isn’t after watching your own brother get shot and then dragging him back while he screamed in pain, slowly dying.” Lafayette swallowed at the graphic image. “But you are a smart, young man who deserves so much better than what you’ve got right now. Trust me, kid, sometimes being alone is a lot better than being with someone.”

Lafayette brought his knees up to his chest to rest his chin on them.

“You’ve got a point.” He sighed, “about all of it.” He looked up as the bright blue sky whizzed past them, fluffy clouds dotting the sky.

“What do I do now?”

“You’ve got family, don’t you?”

“They weren’t too happy to hear I wasn’t following through on their plans.”

“Well you could always try writing to them, or I’m sure one of your old friends would help you out.” Lafayette smiled at that.

“I bet they would.” And after laying his head between his knees he fell asleep until the car rocked to a stop in front a quaint home complete with a white picket fence and red flowers.

“This is the place. I’ve already called them so they know we’re coming. Why don’t you go ahead and introduce yourself and get to know them.”

“Aren’t you coming with me?”

“A phone call is fine, but...I don’t think they’d be too pleased to see me. Just give me a call or write if you need anything from me.” He sighed, “I’ve got a new job to look for.” He mumbled to himself.

Lafayette gave him one last smile as he stepped out of the car.

“Thank you.” He smiled, tears shining in his eyes, chest achy. Suddenly everything had changed and Lafayette was still reeling, if it wasn’t for those pictures he might of stayed and he couldn’t figure out if that was good or bad. But Arnold deserved a thank you.

Arnold nodded, “it’s just the right thing to do. And I promise you, you’re not stuck here either. It’s just a stepping stone on a way to your own life and path.” Lafayette liked the sound of that. His own life, his own path. Not his parents,  _not_ George’s, but his own.

He walked up the white stairs of the little porch, looking at the perfectly mowed lawn and rocking chairs placed on the patio. After a deep breath, he knocked on the oak door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Making Arnold the good guy feels so weird. (And for those of you who are curious, Joseph is just a name and little character I made for this, he’s no one in particular and if you’re still curious, the way I’ve written him he’d be happy with any pronouns;) )  
> I take prompts and requests on [tumblr!](https://jacepens.tumblr.com/)  
> 


	27. Cause and Effect

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So first, I hope you'll notice I officially tagged this as inspired by Fickle_Obsessions' Not So Easy to be the Teacher's Pet because I really need to give credit where it's due. Yes, they're very different in a lot of ways, but I can't pretend that this didn't start with absolutely loving that fic, which if you haven't read it, do yourself a favor and read it now.
> 
> But...it's the final chapter! So time for the author to say thank you thank you thank you!! to everyone who has read, kudosed, or commented on this fic! You all have literally helped me so much and I would not be here if it was not for your support! So, without further ado, I give you the final chapter!! (I know, I'm dramatic. Deal with it >:) )  
> Enjoy!!!!! And be wary...

He was greeted by a woman with long, shiny blond hair and delicate features. Her smile was warm and bright and it relaxed Lafayette. He turned his head out of curiosity only to see that Arnold was already gone. He met her smile.

“Hello, I’m Lafayette, Arnold says you were expecting me?”

“Yes of course, come on in.” She pushed the door back to reveal a small and quaint home with another man inside. He flashed Lafayette a charming smile.

“Hello, Lafayette. You can call me John, and this is my wife Peggy.” He wrapped his arm around her and looked at her with a loving smile. Lafayette found himself smiling at the loving display, feeling comforted by their presence.

Yes, this was a perfect place to get back on his feet.

Days turned into weeks at the André’s that began to feel like months, but the calendar told him he’d only been gone for two weeks now.

He often wondered what he was doing here. Taking up the André’s resources and time, and for what? Because he was mad at George?

He never burned the pictures or letters, but he still couldn’t bring himself to look at them. A quick glance told him many of the papers were old letters between Joseph and George. Lafayette knew he couldn’t stomach reading them. He didn’t want to hear George’s excuses for how wonderful Joseph was while Lafayette was just a nobody to him.

But he had to say something to his friends soon if he wanted to get out of Peggy and John’s hair. It was with the greatest hesitation that he wrote to Caleb. He was his first friend, the one who helped him make friends and pulled him from his sadness when he moved to a new country. But _this?_

What would he even write? What could he possibly say to make Caleb understand what even he did not. George was bad. He had been lied to. What happened was out of his hands. He still couldn’t wrap his mind around it all, but that was what he was told. And it was what he told Caleb.

His hand was shaking so terribly as he wrote, overwhelmed with a flood of emotions that poured through his pen. He found it much easier to write the words than speak them. And on paper, things began to make sense. He sealed the tear-stained paper in an envelope to be sent to New York.

He grabbed the envelope and his old satchel, still filled with the same contents he left with. He walked downstairs, each step echoing loud in his head.

“Peggy?” Lafayette called when he saw her in the living room. She looked up at him. “I’m leaving now, I’ll be back soon. I’ve got a letter I want to go ahead and send.” He gestured by holding up the envelope.

“Alright,” she nodded, “be safe Lafayette.” She grinned.

“Thanks.”

After dropping off his letter to Caleb he went to the local diner for a cup of coffee. He wanted time to clear his head, sift through every thought over some hot coffee. The sun was setting and the last people who ate dinner were leaving the now almost empty diner.

He parked the car and stashed the keys in his satchel, stepping out into the cool air. He took a deep breath and pushed open the door, the little bell jingling to alert his presence.

Robert looked up and gave Lafayette a tight lipped smile, turning around to fix his coffee. Lafayette smiled to himself. Had he really been here frequently enough for Robert to know his order? It was nice.

He sat down in the chair across from Robert and the other workers.

“So what is it today?” Robert asked, spinning around with the cup in hand to place in front of him.

“Well, I just sent a letter to an old friend of mine. And, putting things on paper really makes everything drastically clear.” He reached for the steaming cup. Robert nodded in agreement.

“I’ve often felt the same. You want some paper?”

Lafayette chuckled. “No, not today. Thank you. I think I’ll just stick to the good old brain.”

“Of course.” He turned at the sound of the bell dinging, but Lafayette kept his eyes fixed on the cup as he sipped from it. He sighed.

He really was a fool, wasn’t he? To fall for all his tricks so easily. But George was the bastard who took advantage of it. How could it be Lafayette’s fault when he was the one just being stringed along?

The music filled his ears while the taste of coffee filled his tongue. Lafayette smiled to himself. It seemed someone wanted to hear some Ella Fitzgerald on this night, and Lafayette found he couldn’t disagree.

He tapped his finger against the cup in time to the music, slipping to distant, happy memories he’d forgotten. That time over the summer when Anna took everyone dancing. Lafayette remembered dancing with Eliza who had been too shy to join until he grabbed her hand and pulled her onto the floor and then right into Alex’s hands. He remembered fondly how Caleb danced with every girl who would say yes, and guy! That was easily one of his favorite days, and when everyone was tired they got ice cream and used the sugar rush to have a day out on the town. God, he missed his friends.

Tears began to form in his eyes, burning and obtrusive. He quickly wiped them away, hoping no one would notice. George took them away from him, didn’t he? He took everything from Lafayette. His friends, his family, his joy. It was all his wasn’t it? His chest felt tight. Of course it was. But Lafayette didn’t know how to get it back.

Then he felt a hand on his shoulder. He jumped, his heart racing as he froze, dread suddenly overwhelming him. The weight of the hand, that slight squeeze of possessiveness, oh _God._ It was him, it was him! How could it be him? Arnold promised him he was safe here!

“Oh sorry, kid. I didn’t mean to scare you.” The hand left. Lafayette whipped his head around, oh thank God. The tension slowly crept out of his system. It was just Arnold. A shaky smile appeared on his face. 

“It’s ok.”

Arnold sat down in the seat beside him, waving Robert off before he could take his order. What exactly was he doing here anyway?

“Peggy told me where I could find you.”

“What? But I thought-“

“Listen to me kid,” Arnold grabbed his hand, gulping, his wide eyes staring at Lafayette with so much fear. “I didn’t say a word, and I don’t know how but-“ Lafayette pulled his hand away from Arnold, clenching his cup tight as his tremble returned all the way down to his legs. No, no, no. He couldn’t be. He _couldn’t_ be.

“No. Arnold, no! You said I’d be safe here!” He cried out, tears pricking his eyes. His chest felt like it would collapse in itself with how violently he was shaking. “ _How?”_

“I don’t- I don’t know! But come on, Lafayette we need to go now.” The hand pulled him out of the chair. He caught a look at Robert who wore a sympathetic frown, but his brow curved in worry. His knees gave out and Arnold had to hold him up. Was this how he would live the rest of his life? Running from a man who hurt him? Running because he couldn’t stand up to him? Was that all they saw in him? A weak boy who couldn’t fight his own battles? That’s what he was for so long, but now- The words from his letter to Caleb echoed loudly in his head.

_That man has hurt and manipulated me for the last time. Caleb, there are not enough words to express my regret to you, but I promise you I am not who I once was. I am not as broken as he led me to believe. And I can only hope that you’ll agree with me._

“No.”

“What?”

Lafayette looked up into Arnold’s stunned eyes. “Arnold I- I don’t want to run.”

“What do you mean?” Arnold gripped Lafayette a little tighter.

“I can’t run. I’m not running. I- I will face him myself.”

“Lafayette what are you saying?”

“I will not just keep running forever! At a certain point _I_ must be the one to look him in the eye and say no. I can do it.” He hoped he could do it. He was still shaking as the words poured from his mouth. Oh God, he really said all that didn’t he? 

That overwhelming anxiety flooded back into him when he saw all the ways it could go wrong. Would he fall prey to his hands or lips on his skin? Was he really any different from that schoolboy? Lafayette pushed Arnold off of him, standing straight on his own.

_Yes._

_The Headmaster’s hands threw his shirt to the ground with such force it made Lafayette cry out. Tears pricked his eyes, gut feeling sick as he realized what exactly had him so furious. His shaky hands went to cover himself quickly, but why was he staring at him like that? Why did it all make him feel so hot?_

_“My, my Lafayette.” A shiver ran down his spine and it wasn’t because he was cold. Mr Washington somehow stepped even closer and brushed his hands away. Everything inside Lafayette suddenly screamed to push him away and that sick feeling only churned fiercer as he ran his finger underneath the underband._

_“Lafayette, where did you get all this?” His tongue betrayed him as he let out a gasp at the contact, another chill wracking his body._

_“A...friend.” His eyes traitorously watched as his hand continued gently tracing around the bra and onto his skin. Fresh tears flooded his eyes and panic overwhelmed his body to freeze as he felt a warm hand on his thigh slide higher and higher._

“Where is he now?”

“I- I saw him go to your house. They probably told him the same thing they told me.”

“That I spend my nights here? Ok.” He took a deep breath. “Ok.”

_“Get on the bed.” Lafayette gulped before slowly crawling to lay on the bed. Oh God, oh God why was he doing this? Why was he complying so easily? What was he going to do to him? He laid back on his elbows, wanting to crawl under the covers as he watched Mr Washington remove his tie and belt. No, no, no, no!_

_He crawled onto the bed on top of Lafayette, leering down at him and he felt so much like a helpless prey to this man. And the worst part was that his body was excited. But the excitement burned away as he forced his legs apart to stare hungrily. Lafayette turned his face into the pillow to hide his tears, his face, his shame. His legs began trembling fiercely when he felt the slow pull of the panties off his legs, and then Mr Washington’s rough hands stroking him._

_He whimpered out of fear and at the sudden heat and pleasure that flooded his body, but his mind began screaming out. Hit him! Push him off! Get this man away from you! He is trying to touch you! He will hurt you! He began squirming, listening to his mind as the panic overwhelmed him, but he was not allowed to move. And the panic was allayed again by pleasure as Mr Washington’s hand did not stop. No! his mind called out in a desperate attempt to stop this, but the word did not fall on his tongue._

Lafayette grabbed his satchel from the ground, going up front to pay Robert for the coffee. He looked at him with concern, but didn’t say a word as Lafayette paid him. Arnold stood waiting by the chair for Lafayette to return.

“What are you going to do?”

“At this moment, going to the bathroom. But I would rather confront George somewhere more private, but I’ll meet him in the parking lot. I’m sure he’s almost here by now.” Lafayette bit his lip, if he could act calm then he could feel calm, right? It was no big deal and besides, Lafayette would have the upperhand. For once in all his time with George _he_ would be the one in control of this conversation whether George liked it or not. 

It was the only way he could make it through this without melting into a full nervous breakdown. Just take a deep breath, he reminded himself as he pushed open the door to the bathroom. But he was here for something else entirely. 

_Lafayette cried out when Mr Washington grabbed his legs to rest them on his shoulders. But why would he do that? To make him feel more exposed, more nervous and terrified yet somehow aroused at the same time? His hands gripped tight to the bed sheets to keep himself from hitting him. He knew there was no use fighting, there was no fighting his Headmaster, but fight he wanted to so desperately and yet he still-_

_He almost threw up at the feeling of Mr Washington gently pressing his lips to his own. He was frozen again. Would this be his whole night? Freezing and melting and freezing and melting over and over again until he became stuck in limbo?_

_He kissed and kissed, his lips becoming more insistent and Lafayette acquiesced, parting his own lips and feebly kissing him back. It tasted like bile to him. His cheeks burned the more fiercely he kissed and Lafayette’s mouth made a noise as he relaxed, melted again. He felt cold when he pulled back to leave Lafayette’s bare chest and body to the cold air._

_“See, sweet thing?” He purred, “I will make you feel so good.” Oh God why did he believe him? His face felt hot as he slowly nodded. What else was he to do but agree?_

He pulled the small box out of his satchel and set it onto the bathroom floor very carefully. He dug further down into his satchel to find the other box he kept with it, the contents clanking as he set it on the floor as well. He reached out to grab the first box, still carefully wrapped, to unwrap the box and reveal the contents. A fresh wave of fear surged through him as he was face to face with the box unwrapped, proud logo displayed.

With a gulp he pushed open the lid and gently grabbed the gun from its case to hold in his hand, feel it out. A semi-automatic colt commander. Lafayette didn’t know much about guns, in fact he still didn’t. In his hurry he picked the first small gun he laid his eyes on and a box of matching bullets. 

It was a decision made on a whim when he was suddenly left alone for a short time in a store. He never planned on using it, but then again, why did he feel so compelled to buy a gun if not to use it on the one man who’s had it coming for months now? The man who ruined him all that time ago.

You could’ve told Lafayette that night was years ago and he would believe you. Every moment felt so foggy, but painfully clear all at once. Little things, little sounds he would never forget as long as he lived. And one man’s face that refused to leave his mind.

_"Wait- sir!” He cried out, exhaling rapidly. A horrible, sick and cold dread filled his chest to the brim so full he couldn’t breath. Mr Washington pressed his finger to his lips. Was that supposed to calm him?_

_“Hush sweet thing. I told you it’ll feel good. You will love it.” He would love it, he would love it, he chanted frantically in his mind as he felt a terrible relenting pressure on his hole that only stretched him out to searing pain._

_He whined loudly and gripped the sheets so tight his knuckles ached. God it hurt, it hurt so much! How was this supposed to feel good?_ How? 

_“Relax.” Mr Washington purred out, “it’ll make it easier.” He wanted to believe him, oh how he wanted to believe him. He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, forcing himself to relax, but_ no! No! _He pushed himself even deeper and all the air left Lafayette’s lungs, like there was simply no room to breathe with how much was stuffed inside him right now. If he could’ve breathed in that moment he was sure he would’ve puked at the thought._

 _Mr Washington began rubbing his chest and his stomach, gently shushing him and calming him. He wanted to believe him, he did. He promised it would feel so good, so good. Lafayette had always trusted him. Always found him to be a comforting presence from when he first moved and he treated him with care and kindness. He was caring and understanding when Lafayette stumbled over his English, while he gently corrected him, a little smile just barely tugging on his lips. Lafayette had always_ trusted him. 

_“Be a good boy for me, hm?”_

He stepped out of the bathroom, the door slamming shut behind him. The loaded gun waited eagerly for Lafayette in an easy to reach pocket at the top. He grabbed the strap with one hand as he made eye contact with a worried Arnold, but it was quickly broken. He was too overwhelmed in the sickness and memories and the reminder that a long, long time ago he once trusted Washington as he now did Arnold. 

The cold air was refreshing and did well to soothe the slowly fraying nerves embedded deep within him. He did not plan on killing Washington, but if he felt that it was the only way to end this then that was all he needed. For too long he had promised himself that he would end this only to end back in his arms, driven by tortuous lust and his lies. If even for a fraction of a second he felt himself falling for him again, wishing to kiss him and spend night after night with him. He would shoot. There could be no more doubt, no more uncertainty. There was no other way for him. It was up to Washington if he lived or died tonight.

He saw headlights piercing through the pink sky and the road just outside the diner. The car turned into the parking lot, so fast he could hear the crunch and squeal of the tires exerting themselves. The headlights pulled into a spot, the car jerked as it was turned off, and the headlights disappeared with it.

Lafayette’s knees felt like jelly and that anxiety had crawled it’s way up to his throat, leaving him gasping for air but trying to appear calm. He placed a hand over where the gun waited.

He could hear his loud, thudding footsteps coming closer and closer, but Lafayette could not look up. He wanted to hold on to just a few more moments where every detail of his face wasn’t etched in his mind. He wanted to forget for just a little longer.

_"It hurts!” Lafayette cried out desperately, tears freely pouring from his eyes as he cried and cried, but Mr Washington would not relent for his pain._

_“Hush!” He growled, only thrusting harder, “if you would do what I say it wouldn’t hurt so bad.” Lafayette cried out again. But he tried! He tried so hard to be good, do what he said. But he couldn’t! He couldn’t! He wouldn’t listen!_

_Lafayette whimpered, starting to feel heavy and like he was slipping from reality, but Mr Washington demanded more and- Oh. He was right, that little voice purred, oh_ fuck _he was right. Once the tension left, it was- no, no, no. This wasn’t good but-._

_Mr Washington moved Lafayette’s leg a little and the spot he suddenly found at this new angle was overwhelming his frayed senses. He bit back each sound, how could he just let himself give in? Oh God, what was happening?_

_A particularly perfect thrust had him moaning loudly without his permission and he felt so so ashamed of himself. Everything was collapsing._

_“That’s it.” Mr Washington growled, “you take it just like a little slut.” Oh, he was right, he was_ right! _Tears stung Lafayette’s eyes once more as the realization crashed down on him. He_ was _a slut. A slut who enjoyed getting fucked by his headmaster. How could he be such a person?_

Lafayette took one last breath to steel himself to look into those eyes once more. Those eyes that seemed to leer and stare at him like he was just a piece of meat to be taken. Once Lafayette believed he was a slut, but it was never him, was it?

He looked up to see rage burning a fierce fire behind his eyes, his features, even all the way up to his brow. He was furious and Lafayette wanted to cower, wanted to run away or to him, whichever kept him safe. But no, he had to remember that _he_ was the one with the power here. _Not_ Washington.

“Lafayette.” He growled out, crossing his arms over his chest, straightening his back to make sure Lafayette really felt that one inch that kept him higher.

“What?” He spat out, his own glare just as present on his own face. He could feel it in the way a tension grew between his brows from the force of his glare.

“What the hell are you doing out here?” Suddenly he brought himself closer, leaning into Lafayette’s personal space.

“Living my life if that’s quite alright with you.”

“You know damn well it’s not!” He roared and grabbed Lafayette’s wrist, to pull him so close his breath was hot against his face. Had he been drinking?

Lafayette yanked his wrist from the forceful grip, shaking it out roughly. “How about, you follow me to somewhere that would allow us a little more privacy?”

“Fine.” Lafayette adjusted the satchel’s strap on his shoulder as he slipped into a little alleyway just beside the diner. It was dark enough that bystanders wouldn’t see them, but it still meant that any shouts hurled at the other would be easily heard. Perhaps he should try to go somewhere more private, but that logic would leave more room for Washington to do anything to him while no one could hear. At least from here, Arnold waiting inside would likely hear his cries of help if all went wrong.

_Oh his body begged and it craved that brutal press, the burn inside and out, but his mind was long gone, drifting on the waves of an abandoned sea._

_All he could hear was the squeak of the bed springs, the slap of skin against skin, and worst of all his own voice calling out. Everything else was hazy when he tried to reach for it, even Mr Washington’s own face was a little blurry. He distinctly heard his voice but the words it said were unknown to him. He did not fall back into his own skin until he was crying out, louder than ever as he reached his end in Mr Washington’s hand, spilling all over the skirt._

_All that was left of him was heat. Shame and disgust and fear and a burn that would not leave._

_Lafayette wanted to scream._

Those hands grabbed him and threw him against the wall and for a weak moment Lafayette feared his lips would seal to his own and his hands would demand what he didn’t want to give. But they retreated after he slammed Lafayette to the brick wall so fiercely he felt his head bounce against the bricks, pain echoing in his mind. What the hell was wrong with him?

“What the hell was that?” He cried out, hand already reaching down to his satchel.

“Where is it?”

Lafayette’s heart dropped. He wasn’t even here for him. To try and get him back, to convince him otherwise. He was just here for _Joseph._ In a cruel, cruel way that hurt far more than he expected it to.

“Why does he matter so much to you?” His hand was shaking as it gripped the gun in his bag. He clicked the safety off. It was a miracle it was so dark that Washington could not see his hand and wonder what he was holding.

“You don’t understand.” His speech was slurred, and his hands were fists on the wall against him, trying to box him in.

“I understand it perfectly! I understand that I never meant a damn thing to you! I understand that I was nothing more than a replacement! A _toy_ for you to use and manipulate to your heart’s content all the while pretending I’m Joseph.” He spat the name out like it was pure bile. At that moment he didn’t care if none of this was Joseph’s fault, he would be cursing at the sun if it were in the sky.

“You could never be Joseph!” He roared again, his hands coming to grip his collar and shake him and for a terrible moment Lafayette almost lost the grip on his gun.

His anger bubbled up to his chest. “You’re right.” He hissed, cold and unfeeling. In a blur where his hand moved on his own he found the gun pressed to Washington’s abdomen. “Because he didn’t have the guts to do what needed to be done.”

“You wouldn’t dare.” He bared his teeth like an animal threatening it’s meat. But Lafayette could never be that again. He _refused_ to be that again.

“It’s simple cause and effect _,_ Washington.” The last name rolled off his tongue with ease and spite, “I don’t _care_ that your brother died. I don’t _care_ that the love of your life walked out forever. I don’t even care if he’s dead in a ditch somewhere! You have hurt me and used me for the last time. When you see hell, don’t act like this wasn’t coming for you.”

A bang so loud it seemed to shatter the air sent Washington tumbling down, weak and powerless. Lafayette watched as the blood poured from the gaping wound, watched as he gasped and weakly tried to reach up, tried to speak. He watched until there was nothing, no gasps, no garbled mumbles, not even a single breath.

And just like that, the man was no more. Taken out by someone who refused to ever be beaten down so helplessly ever again.

Lafayette got in his car and drove until he was sure no one was on his tail. He drove until the sun rose and anxiety hammered at his heart, but at that first sight of the sun peeking over the horizon. That was when he could practically taste it in the air.

He smiled to himself when he saw the sign for New York. Freedom never tasted so sweet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, for the last time here's my [tumblr](https://jacepens.tumblr.com/). Feel free to join me there! I fill prompts (and already have a few posted that I wanted to write for myself) and I also have other long fics that I'm working on and looking for beta readers for them! So, come check it all out and (please) drop a prompt! Whether it's from a list I've posted or something specific to a fic I've written! (for example, "was there another ending to ruined??" and yes, the answer is yes haha). But anyway, that's where you can find me in the future:)
> 
> Again, thank you all so much for being so awesome!! I really hope you like how it's turned out and I hope to see you all around! Thank you!!


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